Homophobia

One of my coworkers is homophobic. We were talking about church, and this is how the convo went:

Her: Are you going to church this Sunday?
Me: IDK maybe...what church do you go to?
She mentioned some off the wall church that I've never heard of, then asked me what church I attend. When I gave her the name, she turned her nose up. I asked if there was a problem.
Her: I heard things about their ministry that bothers me. And they have a large gay population and I think that's wrong.

RIGHT

OK I'm exaggerating. She didn't say gayness was wrong. She said that the gay couples at the church show a lot of affection...kissing/hugging/etc, and she thinks thats wrong (and it is...PDA is not meant for the Lords house)

BUT

This isn't the first time she talked about the gay community in a negative manner. She ALSO believes that gay people shouldn't raise children because the children will turn gay AND she believes that all gay people were raped/molested/abused at some point in their life.

UGH

This bitch is FUCKIN STUPID...

And she always says "I love gay people, and I don't have a problem with their lifestyle"

BITCH please...that's like when white people say that they have a lot of black friends...

UGH

I made the mistake of telling my BF that I was bored. He called me...and I answered. I told him that I was bored and didn't have anything to do. He gave me this long ass lecture about how I should be more social and do stuff with my friends (even though he gets mad when I hang out with my friends, but he won't admit it...). Where was I? Oh...right. He said I should do stuff with my friends and enjoy the beautiful weather.

UGH

This type of stuff makes me mad...besides, most of my friends are working or out of town. And I'm really NOT a social person. I kinda like being by myself (most of the time). He really has a way of gettin under my SKIN. And then he'll say or do something to make me unMAD (is that a word?)

HMMM...

Sex is the Best Medicine

I'm sick.

:(

I have a minor FLU and I hate it...I just want this shit to go away! Luckily I have a lifetime supply of Theraflu and Nyquil and I've been ODing on it for the last few days, but nothing cures sickness like a good #tunasub. My BF disagrees with me though. Peep our convo:

HIM: (sarcastically) I guess I aint gon get none since your sick (I ALWAYS tell him that when he gets sick)

ME: ACTUALLY I don't mind fucking when I'm sick...

HIM: But I might catch WHATEVER it is that you have (hmph...he tried to DO me with that statement...don't think I didn't catch it)

ME: Not if we don't kiss!

Then he rolled his eyes and said something smart under his breath...My POINT is, there's nothing wrong with a little 'boom shackalacka' when you have a little cold. It will make you feel TEN TIMES BETTER!!! Now if only I could get my BF to see it that way......

Randoms for the Week

WARNING: This entry makes absolutely NO sense! Read at your own risk!!!

I procrastinate too damn much! Last night as I drifted off to sleep I thought of something important that NEEDED to be done. Did I get up and do it? Fuck no...I said 'I'll do it tomorrow'. And guess what!? It's TOMORROW and I forgot what the hell it was that I was supposed to do! I'm sure it has something to do with my side hustle, but I really can't remember right now. This is EXACTLY why I need to start writing shit down!

UHHHMMMMMMM

Why do Mexicans walk so damn slow???? I love mi hermanos pero it pisses me off when I'm in Wal-Mart tryna get what I need and get the hell outta there but Maria and her 13,000 children are taking up the ENTIRE aisle and walking like I aint got shit to do! I think they do it on purpose...

Speaking of Wal-Mart, them muthafuckas pissed me off! See, I REALLY need an oil change (actually I needed it 4,000 miles ago) and I went to Wal-Mart because thats the only place thats still open when I get off...I went there on Wednesday and the guy was like "I'm more than happy to do your oil change but I'm the only one here and it's gonna take about an hour and a half"

FUCK THAT

I love Mariah (my car) to death but I aint bout to wait no hour and a half for no damn oil change...I'd rather buy the oil and change it my damn self, although I'd seriously fuck some shit up if I did that.

So I went back today thinking, hmmm...maybe they will have their shit together...but I was WRONG. I sat in my car waiting on someone to come over and start the process, but they just looked at me like I was crazy. I looked at the sign to make sure they were still open...and they were. So everyone was just sitting there looking stupid, and I left. Hmph...fuck that. Wal-Mart fucks up people's cars anyway. So I guess I'll wake my ass up EARLY in the morning and go to the dealership :(

WELP I guess that's it for now...everyone have a GREAT weekend! Don't get too drunk...and PLEASE make it to someone's House of Worship on Sunday!

Go FUCK Urself!

So I have two homeboys...

Homeboy A
and
Homeboy B

Me and Homeboy A go back...waaaay back.
I've only known Homeboy B for like 2 years...or sumthin like that.

Homeboy A has been dating this dude for a few years...

And Homeboy B is fucking him...

So what would YOU do in this situation?
Would you tell A that B is fucking his man? Or would you turn a blind eye to the situation????

I really don't give a fucc about Homeboy A right now...he kinda pissed me off. Besides, it's RUDE to get involved in other people's business. So I think I'm just gonna enjoy a Coke and a bowl of popcorn and watch the DRAMA...

Just Like You Like It

Now I usually wouldn't do this...but I couldn't resist:

So I was at Whataburger tryna get a Taquito before 11am (Because they are SERIOUS about not serving breakfast after 11...they need to be like Jack in the Box and serve breakfast all day long!)...what was I saying? Oh yeah...tryna get a taquito when this dude walked in

He was goin off about his order being wrong...or sumthin like that. You know how black folks are...but he was hott!!! I tried to get a pic of the front view...but I'm not good at being inconspicuous. Hmph...he was hot tho. And he was starin! My inner hoe was telling me to misbehave, but I just took my taquitos and went about my day...

I Don't See It...

So I really don't understand the hype about Trey Songz...I mean he's cute. But he aint all that...

Something about that FACE...I can't put my finger on it but it just aint right! Don't get me wrong...he ITE. I'd fuck...just so I can say 'I fucked Trey Songz'.

Now this nigga rite here:

can GET IT! No questions asked...but #imjussayin

One Year Later

January 20, 2009

Millions gathered in Washington, DC to witness the inauguration of America's first black president. At the time, the country was a hot ass mess. George Bush FUCKED us up!!!

He campaigned with the slogan 'Yes We Can!'

It was more than a slogan...it was a statement of the belief that anything was possible and CHANGE was coming.

Fast Forward

It's been a year since that historic day. Many people are saying that President Obama has done a horrible job. I believe in my President. He was dealt a horrible hand and he has several years worth of bullshit to clean up. I am happy with where we are and I think our country is headed in the right direction. And to those of you that aren't happy with it, FUCK YOU!

Uhhhhm Really!!!????

So I sent my homeboy a text that read:

'Sup'

and his BOYFRIEND sends me this reply:

'Dont text his cell anymore.'

I had a do a double take...then I just started laughing.

Like...really?

REALLY????

REALLY????

Are you THAT insecure?

Like I said, me and the guy are FRIENDS. Nothin more, nothin less. So this is a PSA for all my jealous psycho boyfriends out there...(girlfriends too)

A) It's not my fault that I'm cute. I understand you may be jealous, but I can't turn all THIS off.

B) Your man doesn't want me. And if he does, that's not my problem

C) Get a life, and a clue...and then go FUCK yourself!

If you feel the need to regulate who your man/girl can and can't text then you have SERIOUS issues and you should definitely seek professional help. K? Thanks!!

*smiley face*

I Like Sex!

So I'm having a convo with my BF...he asks:

"If you saw a guy that looked like this

would you wanna fuck?"


My answer....

HELL YES!

He tells me that I have some sort of chemical imbalance...that something in my brain makes my hormones act wild and I wanna do it all the time...or something like that.

HMPH

He says I should do something to keep that in check...

I say we should have sex EVERYTIME I get horny...like normal people!

I wouldn't call myself a sexaholic...or nymphomaniac. I'm just a normal MALE in my early 20s...

#100!

This is my 100th post...I guess this is some sort of MILESTONE...

I could give a nice drunken speech like Mariah Carey (yall know that shit was funny!) but imma just keep it cute and thank all of you for reading my random thoughts and pornos...

THANK YOU!

Dumbass

So I was at work today (YAY) and my first customer was a complete IDIOT.

HONESTLY

I didn't wanna help the muthafucka to begin with...here's what happened:

Man: My phone is broken
Me: I'm sorry to hear that sir. Unfortunately this is not a repair center. May I see your device? (I had on  my best 'I'm here to help' smile)
The man hands me his phone...it's broken in half
Me: Do you have insurance?
Man: Yes
Me: OK...you will hafta pay a $50 deductible because your phone is physically damaged.
Man: This phone is a piece of shit! Why do I have to pay? I pay insurance every month!
...and then he rambled on about how he's been a dedicated customer for years and years...blah blah BLAH

UGH...this type of stuff happens every day! I shouldn't have to EXPLAIN to grown ass people that when you pay insurance you pay a monthly premium AND a one time deductible.

Don't believe me?

Wreck your car and see what happens! Hmph...I bet State Farm is gonna get their deductible from you, or you won't be gettin your shit fixed...plain and simple.

And then the muhfucka really pissed me off when he started talking to my coworker in Spanish. Hmph...he was prolly talkin shit about me but he had to pick his face up off tha flo (ghetto talk...I know) when my coworker told him the EXACT same thing (en Espanol)

HMPH

Colorstruck

This might sound a little racist:


So I was having a conversation with my cousin about BOYS.

BASICALLY

He doesn't like dark boys...or DARKIES as he calls them. (he's dark/caramel)

I PREFER caramel skinned dudes myself...or lite brites. (i'm hi yella, and the exception to the rule)

Why do lite brites prefer to date darker people and vice versa? Does it matter? And why do we always hear the phrase 'light skinned bruthas are outta style'?

BITCH PLEASE!

Light skinned bois will ALWAYS be in style.

So I guess my point is this: think outside of the box. Its ok for my blue-black brothas to date other blue/black brothas and sisters...as long as you find that connection with the other person. There's nothin wrong with hi yella lite brites dating other hi yella lite brites. Hell my BF is lighter than me...but that's a topic for another day. Thoughts?

The Real World DC

So this is definitely my favorite season of The Real World EVER! (Well except for Vegas and Chicago)

Why?

Because of him:

White fish is kinda cute too (the one with the yellow arrow...she can get it)

So can he:

I'll admit TY (the black guy) isn't that cute, but his body is BANGIN and there's somethin about the way he carries himself...yah mean????

Hello 2010

So its a new year!

We made it through 2009...

I'm sure many of you have made countless resolutions and you will probably break them by Valentine's Day. OK maybe that wasn't nice...I have faith in you guys!

What are my resolutions?

I don't have any!

But I have a few goals for 2010 (there's a difference!)...

1. I want my body to look like this:

2. I want to get  my photography published

3. And uhh...maybe I'll become a stripper

So here's to a safe and prosperous new decade.

Valentine's Day is STUPID

OK

SO it might be a little early to start ranting about how much I HATE Valentine's Day...seeing as how it's still 2009 and we have about a month and a half until this stupid day approaches.

BUT

I really really really REALLY HATE Valentine's Day. And before you try to DO me and say somethin like 'Oh he jus mad cuz he aint got no man' let me let YOU know that I'm in a healthy and committed relationship, so my distaste for this stupid holiday has nothing to do with that.

Why do I hate Valentine's Day?

Because it's STUPID! Why do I need a special day to buy someone a gift and spend time with them? I should do that on a regular basis. The stores are filled with chocolate, pink teddy bears, flowers, cutesy wutesy cards, and all kinds of other shit. And honestly, what do YOU do with the gifts that your significant other has bought you for V-Day? After you break up with the person you end up trashing the shit, right? Right!

Hmph

Valentine's Day is stupid...SO wer'e NOT gonna celebrate it in 2010. Ok we are...my BF will be highly upset if I don't get him something.

But I will say one NICE thing about this stupid day...it's a great excuse to FUCK someone! ;-)

2009

So I guess I should be thankful...

I have a house...

A car...

And A job...

I'm alive and healthy

I guess 2009 was a good year for me. Yeah I had my ups and downs...my good and bad moments (but who didn't?)

I discovered that I'm a pretty good writer (and a halfway decent photographer) and I plan on taking my talents to the next level in 2010.

As we spend the next week getting full and DRUNK, lets be thankful for what we have and remember the ones that are less fortunate than we are.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

The Importance of Communication

UMMMMMM

I really don't know why people ask ME for relationship advice. I suck at relationships! I'm NOT good at relationships! Me and relationships do NOT get along. Honestly, I don't know how I've managed to stay IN a relationship for nearly two years.

BUT

People ask me for advice.

AND

I always say that EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION is KEY!

Relationships are filled with misunderstandings and what-not, and its important to fully understand each others point of view. It's important to know where everyone is coming from to avoid a frustrating situation. Good SEX is also VERY important! ;)

The Definition of Privacy

I aint even gon lie (Horrible grammar, I know) my phone is password protected. Why? Because I don't like nosy people! Many would argue that if you are in a relationship then you have a right to go through your mates phone, and vice versa. Others would say that it is a direct invasion of privacy.

I've gone through someones phone before...and I found out some VERY interesting things. Things that I really didn't want to know...

The point is this: What's done in the dark will come to light, and hoes ALWAYS get caught! ;)

Mr. Obama...

Our PRESIDENT'S current approval rating is 47%

47%

REALLY?????

That is the LOWEST 1st year December approval rating of ANY president in recent history...

I think he's doing a GREAT job. He's trying to improve the failing healthcare system and fix the mess that our country is in. What people fail to realize is that George Bush didn't CREATE the problem, he ADDED to it. (Don't get me wrong, Bush is still an IDIOT) Our country has been treading downhill since the Reagan years and we FINALLY hit rock bottom last year. President Obama is doing his best to tackle various issues, and I think he's doing the best he can with the resources that he has. So let's get off of the mans DICK and let him do his job! (You know I can't write an entry without mentioning that word!) Thank you!