Sunday, January 24, 2010

Go FUCK Urself!

So I have two homeboys...

Homeboy A
Homeboy B

Me and Homeboy A go back...waaaay back.
I've only known Homeboy B for like 2 years...or sumthin like that.

Homeboy A has been dating this dude for a few years...

And Homeboy B is fucking him...

So what would YOU do in this situation?
Would you tell A that B is fucking his man? Or would you turn a blind eye to the situation????

I really don't give a fucc about Homeboy A right now...he kinda pissed me off. Besides, it's RUDE to get involved in other people's business. So I think I'm just gonna enjoy a Coke and a bowl of popcorn and watch the DRAMA...

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Just Like You Like It

Now I usually wouldn't do this...but I couldn't resist:

So I was at Whataburger tryna get a Taquito before 11am (Because they are SERIOUS about not serving breakfast after 11...they need to be like Jack in the Box and serve breakfast all day long!)...what was I saying? Oh yeah...tryna get a taquito when this dude walked in

He was goin off about his order being wrong...or sumthin like that. You know how black folks are...but he was hott!!! I tried to get a pic of the front view...but I'm not good at being inconspicuous. Hmph...he was hot tho. And he was starin! My inner hoe was telling me to misbehave, but I just took my taquitos and went about my day...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I Don't See It...

So I really don't understand the hype about Trey Songz...I mean he's cute. But he aint all that...

Something about that FACE...I can't put my finger on it but it just aint right! Don't get me wrong...he ITE. I'd fuck...just so I can say 'I fucked Trey Songz'.

Now this nigga rite here:

can GET IT! No questions asked...but #imjussayin

One Year Later

January 20, 2009

Millions gathered in Washington, DC to witness the inauguration of America's first black president. At the time, the country was a hot ass mess. George Bush FUCKED us up!!!

He campaigned with the slogan 'Yes We Can!'

It was more than a was a statement of the belief that anything was possible and CHANGE was coming.

Fast Forward

It's been a year since that historic day. Many people are saying that President Obama has done a horrible job. I believe in my President. He was dealt a horrible hand and he has several years worth of bullshit to clean up. I am happy with where we are and I think our country is headed in the right direction. And to those of you that aren't happy with it, FUCK YOU!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Uhhhhm Really!!!????

So I sent my homeboy a text that read:


and his BOYFRIEND sends me this reply:

'Dont text his cell anymore.'

I had a do a double take...then I just started laughing.




Are you THAT insecure?

Like I said, me and the guy are FRIENDS. Nothin more, nothin less. So this is a PSA for all my jealous psycho boyfriends out there...(girlfriends too)

A) It's not my fault that I'm cute. I understand you may be jealous, but I can't turn all THIS off.
B) Your man doesn't want me. And if he does, that's not my problem
C) Get a life, and a clue...and then go FUCK yourself!

If you feel the need to regulate who your man/girl can and can't text then you have SERIOUS issues and you should definitely seek professional help. K? Thanks!!

*smiley face*

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Saints & Sinners pt 2 (Two Wrongs...)

Sunday, 1pm
Reverend Johnson has just finished a sermon entitled Faith During Times of Turmoil. It was a powerful message and brought many members of the congregation to tears. A few members of the church gathered after the ceremony.

“Hmph. I don’t like this new pastor. I don’t trust him.” said one of the older ladies

“And I aint one to gossip, but I heard his wife is a straight up hoe. She done been with Deacon Thomas.” said another.

They grew silent as the First Lady approached them.

“How are you, Ms. Johnson? That’s a lovely dress you’re wearing!”

“Thank you. Did you enjoy the sermon?”

“Yes, it was lovely”

Sherita Johnson left the ladies and mingled with other members of the church as she left. She could feel their eyes burning a hole into her back. She tried to keep her affairs private, but that was nearly impossible at a small church in a small town. She knew that word was spreading about her affair with Deacon Thomas and other members of the community and she had to find a way to keep her husband from finding out. She contemplated leaving him but she knew that it wouldn’t be right. He had a reputation. He was perceived as a devoted father and a loving husband, so divorce was not an option. She wondered what would happen if he found out about her infidelity.

Sherita always tried to be faithful but her husband was always gone. She needed someone to hold her, even if it was only for a moment. At first she felt bad about cheating on her husband but as time went on she didn’t care. Apparently her husband didn’t care either, because he pretended that everything in their marriage was fine. She arrived home to an empty house 15 minutes later. Her husband was still at the church and her children were with friends. She thought about calling Deacon Thomas, but decided against it. She began preparing dinner for her family when her husband called.


“I’m not going to make it to dinner tonight. I have to go to Atlanta for a conference. I’m sorry”

“Why didn’t I know about this? It’s not on your calendar...”

“I’m sorry. It’s a last minute trip. I love you”


She stood over the sink holding back tears. She didn’t want to continue cheating on her husband but she needed someone to make her feel better. She was tired of being neglected and lied to by her husband. She wanted someone that cared for her. She called Deacon Thomas and they arranged to meet at a nearby hotel.


He was tired of lying to his wife. He knew that his secret would eventually be revealed and he thought about telling his wife the truth. They have been married for over 20 years and she still wasn’t aware of his double life. She didn’t know about his dark secret.

It’s a secret that he’s ashamed of. It’s a secret that would devastate his wife and ruin his career. He stopped at a local payphone...

“Yeah, I’ll be there later tonight. Have it ready when I get there”

He couldn’t keep lying to his wife. His double life had to end, one way or another.

Monday, January 11, 2010

I Like Sex!

So I'm having a convo with my BF...he asks:

"If you saw a guy that looked like this

would you wanna fuck?"

My answer....


He tells me that I have some sort of chemical imbalance...that something in my brain makes my hormones act wild and I wanna do it all the time...or something like that.


He says I should do something to keep that in check...

I say we should have sex EVERYTIME I get normal people!

I wouldn't call myself a sexaholic...or nymphomaniac. I'm just a normal MALE in my early 20s...

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Control, pt. VI (The END)

Apparently there wasn't a proper FINALE for here ya go!!

Healing takes time.

It took several months for Justin to recover from his self inflicted injuries and it would take even longer for Nicholas to recover from the years of pain that his ex lover had caused. Nicholas knew he couldn't live in He often thought about what his life would be like if he had stayed with Justin. Would he change? Would he be capable of loving him without hurting him?

He didn't have time to think about that now. He had to prepare for this new journey in his life. He was moving to Los Angeles to devote more time to his career as a writer. He hoped to write his first screenplay soon and publish a new novel.

Justin made one last attempt to save his relationship.

"Baby I'm sorry. I'm a changed man and we can make this work. Stay here with me! Let's work this out!"

Nicholas was tired of Justin's begging. He had been telling the same lies over and over again for years and he was finally at his breaking point.

"Fuck you! I've dealt with this shit for two years and you're not worth it! I looked the other way when you cheated and I let you put your hands on me TOO many times! I'm not dealing with this shit anymore!"

Justin grabbed his elbow as he attempted to leave.


Nicholas could see the pain in his ex lovers eyes. He thought of the many happy times that they had shared in the past but he knew that their relationship was over. He couldn't imagine living with this monster any longer. He tried to break free but Justin's grip was too strong. He began to think about the fights of the past and the brutal pain that he endured. Nicholas wiggled around and finally managed to push Justin against the wall.

"It's over!"

Nicholas walked outside. Anthony was preparing to take him to the airport.

Anthony finally spoke after a long period of silence.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"This feels right. I need to do this."

"What about US?"

"It's too soon. I can't be with anyone right now...I need to figure myself out first."

"I love you"

"You barely know me..." Nicholas looked at Anthony as he spoke. He could tell that he was being sincere, but he didn't realize they had such an effect on each other. Nicholas had tremendous feelings for Anthony but he had to do what was best.

"We can still be will always be special to me"

And that was the truth. Anthony would always hold a special place in Nicholas' heart because he was there for him. He took his mind off of his troubles and he made him feel loved. They shared a long, passionate kiss as they arrived at the airport. Nicholas removed his bags from the trunk and said goodbye to Anthony as he prepared for this next stage in his life.

Friday, January 8, 2010


This is my 100th post...I guess this is some sort of MILESTONE...

I could give a nice drunken speech like Mariah Carey (yall know that shit was funny!) but imma just keep it cute and thank all of you for reading my random thoughts and pornos...



So I was at work today (YAY) and my first customer was a complete IDIOT.


I didn't wanna help the muthafucka to begin's what happened:

Man: My phone is broken
Me: I'm sorry to hear that sir. Unfortunately this is not a repair center. May I see your device? (I had on  my best 'I'm here to help' smile)
The man hands me his's broken in half
Me: Do you have insurance?
Man: Yes
Me: will hafta pay a $50 deductible because your phone is physically damaged.
Man: This phone is a piece of shit! Why do I have to pay? I pay insurance every month!
...and then he rambled on about how he's been a dedicated customer for years and years...blah blah BLAH

UGH...this type of stuff happens every day! I shouldn't have to EXPLAIN to grown ass people that when you pay insurance you pay a monthly premium AND a one time deductible.

Don't believe me?

Wreck your car and see what happens! Hmph...I bet State Farm is gonna get their deductible from you, or you won't be gettin your shit fixed...plain and simple.

And then the muhfucka really pissed me off when he started talking to my coworker in Spanish. Hmph...he was prolly talkin shit about me but he had to pick his face up off tha flo (ghetto talk...I know) when my coworker told him the EXACT same thing (en Espanol)


Thursday, January 7, 2010

Roll Tide!

I wanna dedicate this post to AJ!!!

Texas: 21
Alabama: 37

Alabama won! See, I didn't want Texas to win this game...Why not? I'm a Texan right? (Not by choice). I don't think Texas should have been in this game...they barely barely barely BARELY beat Nebraska in the Big 12 Championship game (13-12) and they were riding on Colt McCoy's shoulders the entire season. Now don't get me wrong, Colt McCoy is a GREAT player and he's definitely headed to the NFL, but he's NOT Vince Young by ANY stretch of the imagination. (Pre NFL Vince Young...not the beyotch that threatened to commit suicide because his fans booed him).

So congrats to the CRIMSON TIDE

I wanna celebrate with him:



This might sound a little racist:

So I was having a conversation with my cousin about BOYS.


He doesn't like dark boys...or DARKIES as he calls them. (he's dark/caramel)

I PREFER caramel skinned dudes myself...or lite brites. (i'm hi yella, and the exception to the rule)

Why do lite brites prefer to date darker people and vice versa? Does it matter? And why do we always hear the phrase 'light skinned bruthas are outta style'?


Light skinned bois will ALWAYS be in style.

So I guess my point is this: think outside of the box. Its ok for my blue-black brothas to date other blue/black brothas and long as you find that connection with the other person. There's nothin wrong with hi yella lite brites dating other hi yella lite brites. Hell my BF is lighter than me...but that's a topic for another day. Thoughts?

The Real World DC

So this is definitely my favorite season of The Real World EVER! (Well except for Vegas and Chicago)


Because of him:

White fish is kinda cute too (the one with the yellow arrow...she can get it)

So can he:

I'll admit TY (the black guy) isn't that cute, but his body is BANGIN and there's somethin about the way he carries himself...yah mean????

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Saints & Sinners pt 1 (Meet the Family)


Mount Pleasant Missionary Baptist Church was founded in 1894. It is one of the oldest and most respected churches in the small town of Rockville, North Carolina. The church has a rich history of providing food, shelter, and counseling to those that need it. Mount Pleasant was a strong player in the Civil Rights movement and organized protests, marches, and sit ins throughout North Carolina.

The church is led by Reverend Alvin Johnson, a 44 year old minister from Atlanta that was brought to the church last year after the death of the old pastor. Many members of the congregation did not feel that Rev Johnson was right for the church and left. Rev Johnson has been married to his wife, Sherita, for 24 years and they have two children: 18 year old Alvin Johnson Jr (AJ) and 16 year old Keisha. . The children were very respectable young adults and were very active in the church. Keisha was a member of the youth choir and AJ was a member of the Young Deacons Organization.

To an outsider, the Johnson’s seem like the perfect family. Of course things aren’t always as they seem. Every family has secrets, and the Johnson’s are no exception. 


“I don’t care how you do it! Just deliver it! You’re not getting paid until I get confirmation!” the Reverend said as he hung up his cell phone and threw it on the table.

“What’s wrong, dear?” his wife asked.

“Nothing. Everything is fine.”

In reality, everything is NOT fine. Reverend Johnson has been hiding a secret from his wife for the duration of his marriage and he wasn’t sure how long he could hold out. As a man of God, he often struggled with the fact that he wasn’t being honest with his wife, or with himself for that matter. Sometimes he wondered how different his life would be if he hadn’t married his wife so early. He wondered what his life would be like if he wasn’t a preacher. He enjoyed the luxuries of his job, and the chance to interact with dozens of people on a daily basis, but he was leading a double life and he couldn’t continue the charade much longer.


“Oooh baby that’s my spot. Keep going...harder...harder...ooooohhhhh”

Sherita’s eyes rolled into the back of her head as she reached her third orgasm. The man climaxed shortly thereafter, and the couple rinsed off in the shower.

“Sherita we can’t keep doing this” the man said as he kissed her goodbye. “What if we get caught?” he asked. “There could be serious consequences for the both of us”

“I know, but I can’t help it. And you know you can’t get enough of this”

The man smiled as he walked out the door.

Sherita is a devoted wife and mother. She has a hot meal ready for her husband when he walks in the door. She communicates with her children, helps them with their homework, and shows them unconditional love and support. She appears to be a wholesome and dedicated first lady. She is heavily involved in church programs and always has a kind word for the congregation.

Unfortunately, her husband is rarely home. He’s always out of town on ‘church business’ and when he’s at home its as if he’s in another world. They have been married for awhile, but lately it seems as if their relationship is suffering. Her husband always seems to have something on his mind, but he never wants to talk. And he hasn’t been meeting her ‘sexual needs’ lately either. And as the saying goes, what one man won’t do another one will. 


Alvin Johnson Jr is every woman’s dream. He’s a star basketball player with college prospects, he’s about 6’1 with an athletic body and handsome face, and he has the dick from heaven. He recently graduated from Marietta High School outside of Atlanta and decided to follow his family to North Carolina and accept a full basketball scholarship to Wake Forest instead of attending Georgia Tech. 

He is heavily involved in the church. He works with the children and is a member of the Young Deacons Organization, led by Deacon William Thomas. AJ has been interested in ministry since he was young and hopes to follow in his father’s footsteps by leading his own congregation. For now, his main focus is playing basketball, working with the youth, and studying architecture at Wake Forest.


Keisha has always been a straight A student. The simple thought of making a ‘B’ in any one of her honors classes makes her sick. She is currently ranked number 2 in her high school class and is on track to graduate one year early. She is a skilled volleyball player and has scholarship offers from Penn State, Texas, and Clemson. She is a member of the choir and has a voice that would give Beyonce a run for her money. Yes, she’s THAT good. She also helps her mother maintain the home, and is involved with various church organizations. With all of her extracurricular activities it’s hard to imagine her having time to participate in any unholy activities.

In fact, her family seldom questions her whereabouts when she comes home past curfew. They just assume that she’s out with friends or participating in a school or church function.

Yes the Johnson’s are a holy family filled with deep, dark secrets that threaten to tear their world apart, along with the small town surrounding it. Mount Pleasant Missionary Baptist Church has seen its share of ups and downs, but is definitely not prepared for the Johnson family.

Hello 2010

So its a new year!

We made it through 2009...

I'm sure many of you have made countless resolutions and you will probably break them by Valentine's Day. OK maybe that wasn't nice...I have faith in you guys!

What are my resolutions?

I don't have any!

But I have a few goals for 2010 (there's a difference!)...
1. I want my body to look like this:

2. I want to get  my photography published
3. And uhh...maybe I'll become a stripper

So here's to a safe and prosperous new decade.