Johnny Weir

This guy is kinda cute...I saw his interview on Chelsea Lately and almost fell in love. OK not love...lust. And I like his personality...He can DEFINITELY GET IT!

And he's a figure skater, so you know he's got that GOOD

Homophobia

One of my coworkers is homophobic. We were talking about church, and this is how the convo went:

Her: Are you going to church this Sunday?
Me: IDK maybe...what church do you go to?
She mentioned some off the wall church that I've never heard of, then asked me what church I attend. When I gave her the name, she turned her nose up. I asked if there was a problem.
Her: I heard things about their ministry that bothers me. And they have a large gay population and I think that's wrong.

RIGHT

OK I'm exaggerating. She didn't say gayness was wrong. She said that the gay couples at the church show a lot of affection...kissing/hugging/etc, and she thinks thats wrong (and it is...PDA is not meant for the Lords house)

BUT

This isn't the first time she talked about the gay community in a negative manner. She ALSO believes that gay people shouldn't raise children because the children will turn gay AND she believes that all gay people were raped/molested/abused at some point in their life.

UGH

This bitch is FUCKIN STUPID...

And she always says "I love gay people, and I don't have a problem with their lifestyle"

BITCH please...that's like when white people say that they have a lot of black friends...

Tea Baggin

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/6931935.html

UGH

These 'TEA PARTY' idiots are nothing but rednecks with nothing better to do with their lives. They should all jump in a  lake and DROWN

UGH

I made the mistake of telling my BF that I was bored. He called me...and I answered. I told him that I was bored and didn't have anything to do. He gave me this long ass lecture about how I should be more social and do stuff with my friends (even though he gets mad when I hang out with my friends, but he won't admit it...). Where was I? Oh...right. He said I should do stuff with my friends and enjoy the beautiful weather.

UGH

This type of stuff makes me mad...besides, most of my friends are working or out of town. And I'm really NOT a social person. I kinda like being by myself (most of the time). He really has a way of gettin under my SKIN. And then he'll say or do something to make me unMAD (is that a word?)

HMMM...

New Orleans Louisiana

So I spent a few days in 'DA BOOT'. Me, my BF, his sister, and her bestie hopped in the 'pussy wagon' (their words, not mine) and made the 5 hour drive to N.O.

When we got there, there was nobody at the hotel for us to check in.

RIGHT!

SO my BF called the hotel. 

NO ANSWER

Then he calls ORBITZ (the site that he booked the hotel from) and the phone was answered by some IDIOT that didn't speak English. After listening to our situation the guy puts us on hold and attempts to call the hotel. (As if we can't see that there's nobody there).

The man comes back about 10 minutes later and said that he couldn't reach anyone at the hotel or the corporate office.

NO FUCKING SHIT!

He told us that he would try one more time...

15 minutes later he comes back and said the same thing. He said he tried to find another hotel for us, but there weren't any in the area. He said he would get his supervisor on the phone to help us. He put us on hold AGAIN and about 15 minutes later a lady picks up the phone. She said she would try to help us, but she had to call the hotel and verify some information. 

STUPID BITCH

By now we had already driven around the block and found a better hotel. The dumb bitch came back on the phone and said that their systems were down, but they would refund our money when they came back up.

HMPH

I wanted to strangle the bitch. God knew to put my BF on the phone instead of me...cuz I woulda wore the bitch out...

ANYWHOO

After that fiasco, we changed and headed to BOURBON STREET.

BAYBAYYYYYYY...lemme tell you. Bourbon St is THE TRUTH! Daiquiri stands on EVERY corner...drunk people all over the place...women giving out SHOTS on the corner. Its really a fun place if you can get past the stickiness...and the awful smell.

And that was the end of day 1...

We spent the next day walking (yes, walking) around the French Quarter looking at all of the old architecture and what not...then we drove to this creepy ass cemetery, and went to eat at some Creole restaurant (The waiter was hella RUDE and DIDNT get a tip!)

Then it started raining so we all went back to the hotel and fell asleep. The rest of the trip was pretty boring...and not ONCE did I hear someone say BAYYYBEEEEE. I feel like I was deprived...OH WELL I still had fun... 

I'm SOOOOOOOO Bored

So my BF is in Austin.

Thank GOD because its no secret that he gets on my DAMN nerves at times, and I need a little 'me time'. Of course that's what relationships are for...you purposely get on each others nerves, then have bomb ass make up sex. Yup...I like to start arguments on purpose...just so we can make up.

SIGH

But I'm BORED!!! I don't have anything to do!!!!! I kinda miss the yellabone mutha fucka (don't tell him that...it will only inflate his ego).

This is why I need a hobby...WAIT. I already have one...an expensive one at that. Maybe I'll go to the movies. Scratch that...I hate movies. Well I don't HATE movies...but I really don't feel like sitting in a room with a bunch of people that I don't know to watch some guy try to save the world...or have sex with a chick that's WAAAYYYYY too hot for him.

UHHHMMMMM...I could go shopping. That's a very therapeutic activity. Ugh...but I would have to DRIVE and I'm not in the mood for traffic right now. Maybe I'll do some online shopping...never tried that.  It might be fun.......NAH, scratch that.

Hmmm...I guess Ill sit here and write. Yes, writing is good for the SOUL. And I won't have to sit in traffic...we'll see how this turns out.

Saints & Sinners pt. IV: Consequences

REVEREND ALVIN JOHNSON

Reverend Johnson was tired of living a double life. He was tired of preaching in the pulpit every Sunday and running a notorious drug ring during the week. Nobody suspected Reverend Johnson of investing the churches money in his drug operationn, but that is exactly what he was doing. He was funding his operations with the Lords money. Sometimes he felt guilty about his actions, but he was also a greedy man. The money and the power had turned a once God-fearing Christian into a monster.

Reverend Johnson couldn’t continue on his path. He felt that it was finally time to make a decision. He knew that he couldn’t keep lying to his congregation, and he couldn’t keep dealing on the streets. His decision wouldn’t be easy. He has people depending on him: his family, his congregation, and his dealers. 

He wanted to do the right thing, but the money and the power were holding him back. He couldn’t stand the fact that he was poisoning the very community that he should have been trying to heal. His conscience was starting to get to him. He couldn’t continue dealing drugs, but he couldn’t stop either. He was at a dangerous crossroad, and he had to make a decision before it was too late.

SHERITA JOHNSON

She stared at the pregnancy test in shock. How could this happen? She was always so careful and used protection EVERYTIME she had sex. Maybe it was a mistake, she thought, as she waited on the results of a second pregnancy test. She wasn’t prepared for another child. She wasn’t even sure who the father was. 

BUZZ

She jumped as the timer buzzed, notifying her that the test was ready. She looked at the second test, and it was positive. She was pregnant with a baby and didn’t know the father. She thought about the shame this would bring to her family, her church, and her community and she fell to the floor and started crying.

ALVIN JOHNSON JR

AJ walked slowly to the locker room after a long, greuling practice. He was tired, sweaty, and horny. He turned the water on and stood under the jets. The hot water felt good against his body. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the water and steam.

Suddenly he felt someone standing behind him. He turned around and saw Derrian jacking off.

“What the fuck you doin?”

“I’m horny” Derrian said as he glanced at AJ’s rock hard dick.

“And it looks like you are too...”

Derrian fell to his knees and put AJ’s hard erection in his mouth. AJ resisted and pulled away.

“What you doin? We’re gonna get caught!”

AJ didn’t want to get caught with his dick in another mans mouth and ruin his reputation.

“No we won’t...everyone is gone”

Derrian went down on him and started pleasuring him with his mouth. The combination of the hot water and Derrians warm mouth overpowered him and he exploded on Derrians lips.

“Damn pa”

AJ and Derrian finished showering and left the locker room. They headed to AJ’s dorm for round two.

KEISHA JOHNSON

“What’s wrong?” Keisha asked.

“Ms. Johnson, apparently you are pregnant. We are unable to give you this shot because it might be harmful for your baby.”

Keisha couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She couldn’t be pregnant. No way...

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“I’m positive. And I will need to inform your parents. They will have to take you to the hospital so you can get the care that you need. We can’t do that here at the Free Clinic.”

“No...no. I can’t tell my parents about this! I just can’t...no! I can’t!”

“Unfortunately we don’t have a choice. It’s the law.”

“Is there another way?”

The doctor looked at Keisha with pity in her eyes. She felt sorry for her, but there was nothing that she could do. 

“I’ll be right back”

The doctor left and Keisha began crying.

He Accused Me of Cheating...

Stop the MUTHAFUCKINME presses!!!

My BF thinks I'm cheating on him. Here's how the convo went:

Him: Why have you been such an asshole lately?

Me: What? I've been acting like I always have...I don't know what you're talking about.

Him: One of your little "friends" musta made you mad...

Me: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Him: I'm just sayin...I didn't make it to 31 by being retarded.

*LONG PAUSE*

I wanted to choke his ass...

*Kim Kardashian Voice * Like SERIOUSLY? They say if you accuse a faithful man of cheating he'll actually start cheating. Is that saying true? We're about to find out...

BITCH...

This is why I hate guys now...I don't like people that accuse you of something, but act like they are picture perfect. People who don't practice what they preach. People who are habitual liars. But that's a story for another  night.

*I NEED A DRINK*

So what's the moral of this story? Stay out of relationships...they are bad for you. Fuck what ya heard...

Latino Heat

OK...

I don't know why, but lately I've been FEENIN (I know that's not how you spell it) Latin/Hispanic men. Like I really really really want a nice Cuban or Puerto Rican.

It all started with the cute Hispanic boy at the Underwear shop (See Montrose).

AND

I have a sexy Latino in my training class that makes it hard to pay attention. I spend too much time thinkin about what he has in his pants...and I think he grabbed his piece in front of me. Or maybe that was just a fantasy...

YUM

My ULTIMATE fantasy is to fuck THA SHIT outta a nice Hispanic man...I wanna fuck him SOOOOOOOO hard that he starts speaking en Espanol. Saying shit like

Ay Dios Mio
and
Ay PAPI
and
El sexo me Daddy

UUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I just wanna wish a happy birthday to my BABY Shad Gregory Moss (aka Bow Wow)

Ol fine azz...I been crushin on this dude since day 1. I KNOW he got that good-good. And its only a matter of time before we cross paths. Yup...he's definitely on the LIST

UUUGGGHHHHH *mad-face*

I'm CONVINCED...

Men experience PMS every month.

SEE

Once a month EVERY MONTH my BF walks around with a shitty ass attitude for no damn reason. Whenever I ask him what's wrong he gives me this shit-faced look and tells me that nothings bothering him.

I'm not an IDIOT and I can tell that somethings wrong with his ass, so I ask him again. He gives me the same shit-faced look, so I go on about my business. At first I just dealt with it...cause people can be moody and I know that I act like that sometimes

BUT

This shit is really starting to irritate me. *sigh* I guess I have to go back to being the OLD me...

My New Boo

Anthony Mackie...


You might remember him as TUPAC in Notorious...he also starred in the ACADEMY AWARD WINNING film The Hurt Locker and some Broadway productions...


I didn't notice how FINE this dude was until I saw him on THE TODAY SHOW. I mean look at him...SEXY!!!


Of course he has a MAJOR flaw: he's from New Orleans...and you KNOW what that means!!

Montrose

OMG

So there's this UNDERWEAR boutique that I've been trying to get to for the LONGEST. My job had me in a training session not too far from this place...so I decided to FINALLY check it out after work. It's in the Montrose district (gayville) so I kinda knew what to expect. Or so I thought...

I walked in, and there was a cute Latino at the counter. He asked me if I needed help and I told him no (because I HATE asking for help in the store). As I was browsing the merchandise, he came from behind the counter and I realized he was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of tight gray briefs. No pants...

DAAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNN

And he had a nice tite little ass...it was sitting RIGHT. My dick got ROCK hard and I wanted to take him behind the counter and show him a little somethin. And he didn't make it any better by flirting with me and smiling...HMPH.

I'm still drooling over his cute little cakes...I'll definitely be back.

The FAMU Sex Video...

SMDH

I wasn't gonna write about this...but I just can't resist...

Like, REALLY?

REALLY??????

I saw bits and pieces of the video, and I'll start off by saying that the guys in the video can DEFINITELY get it!

BUT

Aint no way in hell I'm gonna lay in a room full of people and have a big ass orgy on camera...this is some straight up HOE shit. And you can hear a girl in the background directing the action.

"No...take her right there. Do it on the desk...yeah that's it"

BITCH please...

What self respecting PERSON would let this go down?

And the guys probably took turns fucking EACH OTHER after the ladies left and the cameras stopped rolling (THAT woulda been a nice video...)

See for yourself:

http://www.zshare.net/video/73136309b88057f5/

Its Only Cheating If You Get Caught

Read the title again...CAREFULLY

My BF said that stupid shit to me (he's the same BF that told me a threesome is considered cheating, but I'll write about that later). Now I wanted to get IGNORANT pop his ass, but I went away to my little corner and thought about his statement.

SO:

If you commit a crime (rape, murder, etc.) and you don't get caught, is it still considered a crime?

FURTHERMORE

If a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?

EXACTLY

**BULLSHIT**

And what if you have a different opinion of what counts as cheating? Some people think that simply looking at another person is 'against the rules'. Of course rules were meant to be broken (hahaha)

This mofo betta watch himself though! I don't wanna break anyone's bones...

And The Oscar Goes To...

If you think this is gonna be about Sunday's Academy Awards Ceremony, then you're DEAD WRONG! This is about ME!!!

Check it:

I love my job! Why? Because I get to play the role of a straight man! See, everyone at my old  job knew how I got down (only because certain people can't keep their damn mouth shut, but I'll blog about that later). I guess it was nice being able to be myself around them, but the gay jokes got a little annoying after awhile...

The people at my new job don't know shit! I think I play the role of a straight dude pretty well...I have them fooled! We shall see how long this lasts...

The Day from Hell

So I had my first BAD DAY at my new job. And trust me, this bad day makes Sprint look like a cakewalk.  I really don't mind dealing with IDIOTS all day, but I realized that customer service/sales is DEFINITELY  not for me!

I'm giving myself EXACTLY ONE YEAR to BLOW UP. 365 days to turn my passion into a full blown career...cuz I'll be damned if I continue to deal with idiots for the rest of my life! I'll keep yall updated on my progress ;)

3 Strikes

Back in my hoe single days I had one simple rule: If I call you three times and you don't answer, then I'll never call again.

SIMPLE

3 Strikes and UR OUT!

Kinda like baseball...

No EXCEPTIONS!!! It didn't matter how tite the azz was, now nice the body was, or how big the dick was.

Some people think that's a little harsh. Shit, fuck that! There's too much ass/pussy/dick out there for us to focus on one lame ass that can't get their shit together. Besides, I didn't wanna look like some thirsty ass dude that can't get a nutt. And everyone should have OPTIONS. When Option 1 starts fucking up, move on to Option 2 and so forth. Because TRUST me, you are not the only option on HIS list, and you're a dumbass if you think you are.

The Office

IMAGINE THIS...

The guy above is your MANAGER and he calls you into his office to discuss your PERFORMANCE. He closes the door behind you, then seductively licks his lips as he motions for you to sit down. He sits on the corner of the desk, gives you his best 'lets fuck on the table right now' look. He says things like

"You're a HARD and dedicated worker"

AND

"I can tell that you're REALLY GOOD at what you do"

Then he puts his hand on your shoulder, you lock eyes, and BAM...your dick ends up in his mouth, and then you end up flip flopping on his desk for a hot quickie.

Sound intriguing?

My situation isn't QUITE THAT exciting. See, I kinda think my manager has a THING for me. He's always giving me this LOOK...or maybe he's simply trying to figure out if I'm FAMILY. Unfortunately, he looks NOTHING like the guy in the picture. He's a really cool guy though...and he was probably cute back in the 80s. Early 80s...

Okay I take that back...he's a cute older gentleman. Yeah...that's what he is.

But there definitely WON'T be any hot passionate office sex anytime soon! Now as for the other guy...

I Changed My Mind...

Trey Songz can GET IT!