National Enquirer

I'm not a FUCKIN celebrity. So I don't understand why my name is ALWAYS in someone else's mouth. It's like people get some kind of pleasure out of talking about me, what I'm doing, who they THINK I'm fuckin, etc. It's always nice to have haters (ugh I hate that word) because it lets you know that you are doing something right. It lets you know that somebody is so desperate for attention that they are trying to bring you down so they can feel good about who they are as a person. So it's a self esteem issue. Haters (there's that word again) have poor self esteem.

So I'm going to declare the rest of July "Hater Appreciation Month". OK really...I need to get rid of that word. Hmmm...another word for hater...uhhh bopper? No I don't like that either. Dick monkey? No that's rude...Uhhh Paparazzi??? Yeah...I likes that. Paparazzi because they are always in your DAMN business.

Yes, you should appreciate all of the things that these desperate people do. So the next time you see a hater...oops I mean Paparazzi talking SHIT, don't get mad. Resist the urge to slap the dog PISS out of them. Instead, give them a nice smile and say THANK YOU because it will make them feel better. It will give their low self esteem a much needed boost. It might prevent them from committing suicide and you can feel good because you know that you saved a LIFE. Even if its the life of a worthless hater (again with that damn word).

Now keep in mind I said that JULY is Paparazzi Appreciation Month...after that you can tell a bitch to suck a big fat sick DICK and FUCK OFF!