Jailbait

I’m not tryna go to jail. Do you know what they do to sexy lite skinned boys like me in there?

*closes eyes and cringes*

Exactly. A group of four or five big burly ass nasty looking dudes will tie you down and bang you senseless. And not in the good, to curling, make you want it over and over again kinda way. No lube...no condoms...no vaseline, just raw nasty butt fucking, then you end up in the infirmary with half of your lower intestine hanging out. If you are a loose booty queen, then you shouldn’t have anything to worry about, but for tite booty niggas like myself,  jail is the LAST place I need to be.

Which is why I can’t fuck with the 17-18 year old bois that have been hittin me up lately. And these young queens are BOLD! I can’t take it!! 

True Story:

I was on facebook minding my own business when a dude hit me up. He was nice lil lite skinned cutie...we exchanged messages for awhile, then he gave me his number and we started texting. He asked if we could hang out one day, and I told him we could go out for drinks or something. Then, HE said “LOL I’m only 17”

GURRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

My jaw nearly hit the floor. I looked at his pics again...he didn’t LOOK 17. And he didn’t ACT 17 either, but the mofo is 17 and still in high school. I’m not running a damn nursery. Tha fuck I look like taking someone on a date to ChuckECheese? Got me all fucked up. He’s hella cute though...and they say the young bois got that GOOOD. Then again, some of these kids are already worn out with no tread on the tires.

Definitely not feeling it. Don’t get me wrong, youngins are fun to PLAY with (as long as they are legal...or Diggy Simmons) but they aren’t relationship material. Like seriously...what can an 18 year old do for me? They don’t know what they want. They don’t know who they are.

Then again, maybe a young wifey isn’t such a bad idea. Especially if he’s in college and doing something with his life. Something about a college schoolboi turns me on and drives me crazy. They are so ambitious and sexy. 

The niggas my age are confused and clueless, and the older men are crazy as hell. This young generation seems to have their shit together (kinda) and they might not be that bad...as long as they can cook. Definitely need somebody that likes to cook.

But lets keep it legal...I can’t go to jail. (He’ll be 18 in a few weeks tho)

Clingy...

A Recent Phone Conversation:

Him: Wyd?

Me (Rolling eyes): Chillin...wassup

Him: Nuthin. I miss you

Pause

Ummmm but really though. How can you miss somebody if you barely know them? How can you miss somebody that you just met and haven’t even fucked, or played with? That’s how you know a nigga is crazy. I don’t know what it is about me that makes dudes act like this...maybe its the eyes and the smile. Or maybe its my wonderful personality ;)

I don’t like clingy people. I need somebody with a little independence. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to be missed but got DAYUM! I likes my space, which is why I’m single now. When dudes start acting like that it turns me COMPLETELY off because I feel like I’m in another relationship. But the fucked up thing is that I don’t like rejecting people. I’m too nice and I don’t like hurting people’s feelings, so I kinda sorta go along with it, which is DANGEROUS in the long run. Why? Because feelings end up hurt anyway, and its much worse than it would have been if I was just up front about the way I felt.

WAIT

I’m ALWAYS up front and honest about how I feel. I told the dude I wasn’t into a relationship right now, so he knows what he’s getting himself into. But I can’t help but feel bad about not feeling the same way that he does about me. This is why I think boys are stupid. How can you fall for someone if you KNOW what the deal is? You KNOW they aren’t interested in a relationship and you KNOW that they don’t want to be with you.

I think there’s somebody for everybody, but you have to have the time and patience to wait for the right person. A lot of people have a defined LIST of what they want in a potential bf, and if a nigga doesn’t fit that list then he’s OUT. But we have to be a little more flexible. The dating game has changed...shits WAY to complicated! But it is what it is, which is why I do my own damn thing. I can’t help it if others get hurt in the crossfire. Ok...maybe that’s a little mean, but I blame BET.

Speaking of BET, have you seen Terrence J’s fine ass lately? I mean he was ALWAYS cute, but now the nigga is gorgeous. I would do so many inappropriate things to him

*mind wanders*

Is it getting hot in here?

And another thing: why do dudes get mad whenever I talk about how fine a celebrity is? Everyone that knows me knows I’m in LOVE with Bow Wow (We’re getting married. Our colors are purple and gold, and we’re registered at Neimans). But my ex used to hate when I talked about how sexy he is. Its not like I was fucking him...although I wouldn’t mind. And Rodney Harrison can get it too...

Ok, now I’m rambling and I forgot what I was talking about in the first place. So uhh...how do we handle the clingy bois???

Can BOYZ like Beyonce?

This is for the bottoms...

Imagine this:

Ur riding in the car with the FINEST nigga you’ve ever seen...he’s built like a football player, has the swag of a champion, and has all his shit together. Car...house...wardrobe...this nigga has EVERYTHING!  He’s always at the hottest events and hangs out with the hottest people. The true definition of trade. One glance at him and you get moist. When he flashes his smile you’re ready to drop those briefs and let him break your back, doing things that would make porn stars blush.

There’s just one TINY problem: he LIVES for Beyonce. He gets DOWN whenever King Bey or Queen Britney is on the radio. He has EVERY Rihanna album ever made (From Music of the Sun to Loud). Is that a deal breaker? Don’t get it twisted...he still listens to Drake, Lil Wayne, Gucci, & TI, but THE OTHER SIDE of him likes Beyonce, Rihanna, Britney, & Kelly. Is anything wrong with that?

Can a guy be masculine and still listen to pop/R&B? Or is her forced to portray the uberhomothug and only listen to hardcore hip hop? Does it REALLY matter what kind of music he listens to if the dick is good and he’s taking care of business? I actually know a lot of dudes that would tell a nigga to either change the song or pull over and let him out. Why? 

This is why I think boys are stupid...we have an image of what a MAN is supposed to be, and if the guy we are talking to doesn’t fit that image we bounce. We have to accept people for who they are, and what they like. Personally, I don’t care what kinda music a nigga listens to (unless its COUNTRY...can’t get down with that).

I aint gon lie...I LOVE Queen Britney. Yup, I bet you didn’t know that. I go CRAZY everytime I hear Toxic but most niggas wouldn’t accept that. And if I feel that I can’t be myself around you then there’s definitely no point in us getting to know each other. We can still fuck, and possibly go out to eat every now and then, but a relationship aint gonna happen. And we aint goin to the nice restaurants either. I MITE take you to IHOP, but that’s about as good as its gonna get.

Or maybe its all in my head...maybe I subconsciously hate myself for liking Beyonce and Britney and all the rest of those girls. Nahhhh fuck that. But seriously tho, are boys allowed to like Beyonce?

Learning About Boys...

I don’t wanna be loved...I don’t wanna be loved. Yup, Ms. Miguel (as I like to call him) speaks to my soul with that song. No bite marks, no scratches, no hickeys. Just wham bam thank you maam...get dressed, go home, and call me when you’re ready for round two.  Ok, I’m not THAT raw with it, but I just can’t get dudes to understand that I’m NOT looking for a relationship right now. After being with someone for two years (and technically not OFFICIALLY broken up) you can’t just jump into a new relationship after six months. Thats a mistake that is made too often. I’ve even done it myself...hell that’s how I ended up in my last situation. I need time to cool off and find myself. Wait...that sounds corny. 

Seriously though, I gotta take time to evaluate my last relationship and figure out what went wrong (although I already have a pretty good idea). And I can’t do that with another dude tied to my arm. Besides, I’m kinda sorta enjoying the single life.

Being single is what you make of it. Yeah there are people that say the single life sucks and I understand how that feels. After all, the weather is about to get cold and its gonna be cuffin season. Cold nights by the fireplace sipping hot chocolate with the boo...laying up on the couch watching movies...hot passionate sex. Yup, that’s what its all about.

UNFORTUNATELY I can’t be cuffed right now. It wouldn’t be fair to me or the other person because they wouldn’t have my full attention. I have a lot going on right now. School, work, running a business, trying to have a social life. Yeah, so a relationship doesn’t quite fit into the equation. And I tell niggas all the time “I’m not looking for a relationship” but they keep trying to tie me down. And then get mad at ME when things don’t go their way. Its really not my fault.

And for some strange reason, the young kids love me. I’m talking about the 17-18 year olds. Can’t do it...I’m not going to jail for ANYBODY (except Diggy Simmons...when will he be 18?) I don’t have time to sit around changing diapers and wiping noses. Tha fuck I look like running a day care center?

I’m learning a lot about myself though...I learned that I have a TYPE, and most of the dudes I’ve dated/talked to/played around with in the best were the exact opposite. Does that make sense? Hell naw...but it is what it is. And I learned that I only have 3 simple requirements:

1. Be able to cook
2. SEX SEX SEX
3. Leave me the hell alone so I can play video games or watch football

Don’t get me wrong, I know how to cook my own food. I’m not saying I want somebody thats gonna have breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the table when I ask for it (although that would be nice), I just want somebody that CAN cook. Is that too much to ask?

Sex At a Party

They walked into the Doubletree and took the elevator to the 18th floor. There was a small group of men standing outside of room 1814, wearing wife beaters and basketball shorts and they immediately knew they were in the right place. After five minutes of waiting, a guy came out of the room, directed them inside, and handed them a plastic bag for their clothes and shoes. They stripped down to their underwear and began walking through the suite, observing the various activities before getting a drink at the bar. They sipped their cocktails and continued scanning the room for prospects. The men looked at the bed and watched an eager bottom giving head to two men. They walked to the bathroom and saw another bottom getting smashed while a crowd watched and jacked off.

He shot his best friend an evil look, wondering what he had just gotten himself into. He felt someone grab his ass. He looked back and saw that the guy wasn’t quite his type, so he kept walking around the room, looking at the boys who were all waiting. Most of them were cute, some of them were, um, not. He walked to the bar, got another drink, and they continued walking around and observing until they found a spot to sit in the corner. Trey Songz was playing in the background, and the drink was starting to take its effect. He wasn’t quite ready for action yet, but he was vibing. He locked eyes with a short, muscular yellabone across the room. He got up for another drink, then sat next to him. The cutie started rubbing his manhood and kissing his nipples. He started rubbing his thighs and grabbing his ass.

Wait

He was moving too fast. He wasn’t ready for this...he didn’t know what he was getting into, but it didn’t matter as the bottom pulled his dick out of his boxer shorts and put it in his mouth. He started slurping and bobbing his head as a crowd gathered around them. He had to put on a show. He put his hand on the bottoms head, guiding it up and down. He moaned and bit his lip as he pleasured him.

It was time for action.

He grabbed a condom, lubed up, and guided his dick into the warm, tight hole. The cringed at first, but eventually sat on the dick and rocked his hips back and forth. He started slowly, then began moving faster and faster. He laid on his back as the lite skinned bottom continued to ride.

He wanted to take control.

He flipped the bottom over on his hands and knees and started pounding from the back and slapping his ass. The room was filled with his moans and the sound of skin against skin. The audience watched as his strokes got faster and he finally climaxed.

But the bottom wasn’t done...

One of the spectators lubed up and started pounding him for another round.

It was getting wild. He sat next to his best friend, who was eyeing another bottom across the room. It went on for another hour before everyone was satisfied & went home, waiting for the next little get together.

Jealousy & Betrayal: Chapter 1

“Fuck you nigga!” Antonio screamed at his boyfriend Kevin as he snatched his bags and walked out of the loft they shared for the last three years. He just found out his boyfriend had been cheating on him with a nigga named Carlos from Atlanta. Kevin was an up & coming music producer, and he was always taking trips out of the city. Antonio is an up & coming photographer, and since they were both in the industry he thought he could trust him. Clearly he was wrong. “Baby come back” Kevin followed Antonio into the hallway attempting to calm him down and talk about the situation. “Let’s talk boo...I love you. I’m sorry”. Antonio looked at him and rolled his eyes. “I got shit to do...” Antonio walked down the stairs, unlocked his 2011 Dodge Charger, and threw his bags in the backseat. He called his best friend, Christian. “Yo, can I stay with you for a little while? I just broke up with Kevin’s triflin ass”

“Yea bro...stay here as long as you need”

“Ite...I’ll be there in ten minutes”

Antonio really didn’t wanna stay with Christian, but he had no other place to go. His parents didn’t approve of his lifestyle and wouldn’t accept him back into their home. His other friends were dealing with drama of their own and he didn’t want to intrude. He’s known Christian since they were 5 years old and he was going through a break up of his own, so he figured they could be there for each other. He pulled up to Christian’s building, parked, and buzzed his loft.

“Yo”

“Let me in nigga!!”

“What’s the magic word?”

“NOW before I beat yo azz!”

The door clicked and Antonio took the elevator to the 15th floor. He knocked on the door and Christian came out wearing nothing but his boxers and flashing that million dollar smile that always seemed to get him in trouble. “Ewwwwww nigga...put that shit away. Lil dick azz” Antonio said as he hugged his friend and walked inside. He tried not to stare at his best friends chiseled abs and  perfect chest as he dropped his bags in the living room. “Damn you got a nice lil place.”

“Yeah...been living here damn near 3 months and this is your first time seeing it. What kinda friend are you?”

“Whateva nigga...I been goin thru shit”

Christian is a sexy dude. He’s 5’10, 175 with a banging body and caramel colored tatted complexion. He plays football for UCLA and is entering the NFL Draft in the spring. He always has boys chasing him and can’t keep a steady relationship because he doesn’t know how to keep his dick in his pants. He’s not DL, but discreet about who he lets in his business, and doesn’t mess around with just ANYBODY. All of Christians smash buddies/friends/lovers look somewhat like him, athletic and sexy as hell. Christian & Antonio messed around a few times in high school, and Antonio still had a slight crush on him but decided they were better off as friends, even though he still jacked off to the image of his tight body every now and then. As they were talking about their relationship situations, Antonio’s eyes kept scanning Christian’s body and resting on his dick. Antonio is a versatile top, but Christian is packing and he is a straight top.

“Yo you ite?” Christian asked... “Yea...my bad”

Their eyes met and the sexual tension was thick. Christian also had feelings for Antonio, but the timing was never right. He knew that Antonio was the only nigga that could keep him in line and he purposely fucked up his relationships because he couldn’t see himself with anyone except Antonio. Christian’s cell phone rang, interrupting their moment.

“Yo...yea...ok” he hung up the phone and turned to Antonio. “You gonna be ite?”

“What, you got a booty call or somethin?” Antonio asked

“Hahaha maybe”

Christian put on his clothes and walked out the door, leaving Antonio alone with his thoughts and a hard dick. 

Meanwhile, Christian was speeding across town to meet Brandon for one of their sessions. They met at a party a few months ago and have been kicking it hard ever since. It wasn’t real serious, because they both had busy schedules, but Christian didn’t mind fucking his brains out whenever he could. Brandon was a dancer and the sex was phenomenal. Christian knocked on the door and Brandon answered, wearing nothing but a wife beater and black boxer briefs.

“Took you long enough to get here”
“Whateva nigga”

Brandon wasted no time unzipping Christians jeans and putting his semi hard dick in his mouth. He slurped his pipe until it was fully hard, then looked at him.

“You like that daddy?”

“Hell yea...”

Christian pulled down Brandons boxer briefs, laid him on the couch, and started eating him out. His soft moans and Christians slurping filled the room. Christian reached into his jeans and pulled out a Magnum and a small bottle of Wet Platinum.

“You ready nigga?”

“Yea daddy”

Christian lubed him up and put on the condom. He lubed his dick and began sliding his manhood into Brandon as he moaned. 

“Wait baby...slow down”

“I got you”

Brandon got on his hands and knees and Christian gripped his waist, pushing slowly until all eleven inches were inside. He started grinding slowly until Brandon got used to the feeling, then started stroking faster and faster. The room was filled with sounds of Brandon moaning and Christian grunting and slapping his ass. Their session was interrupted by the sound of a key turning in the door.

Coming Out of My Shell

I’m shy as fuck. I know...its REALLY hard to believe that a guy like me can be so shy, but I am. I’m so shy its scary. I’ve always been this way...ever since I was a little gay boy trying to navigate my way through this big gay world. I have to be drunk to approach another dude at the club. Ok maybe not drunk...but tipsy. I don’t like rejection, so I just stay to myself. Unless I got liquor in my system...then I really don’t give a fuck. Yeah...that’s stupid. By refusing to step out of my comfort zone I’m missing out on a lotta things. I mean who knows, Bow Wow might be tryna hit me up, but I’m gonna miss out because I’m all shy and shyt. Then again, he has that “baby” (I wanna see a paternity test, remind me to call Maury) so that’s probably not gonna happen. But that’s not the point. I’m too old to be this damn shy...and I’m cute as hell with a decent lil body (I’m workin on it, even though I haven’t been to the gym in 3 weeks. Don’t judge me) so I shouldn’t have any problems. Niggas should be flocking in my direction...they should be on my dick like a fat hoe on a Whopper. On my ass like Eddie Long at a high school freshmen orientation. Ok, maybe that was a bit much. 

This is part of a deeper issue. I think many of us GAYS have self esteem issues, whether we wanna admit it or not. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m ugly by ANY means, and you wouldn’t either if you ever saw me (I promise I’m not conceited). But everyone thinks they have a flaw that stands out whenever they are in a crowd. Maybe they think they are too skinny...or too fat...or they don’t have enough booty...or whatever. We always see other men that seem to get whatever they want in this lifestlyle, and that makes us step back. Makes us feel slightly inadequate. Emphasis on the word SLIGHTLY. 

But it really shouldn’t matter. Life is about seeing what you want and going after it, no matter what it takes. Don’t worry about the consequences...just go for it. Just do it...just make it happen. And if a bitch don’t like it they can suck my dangalang. 

Ugh...I’m starting to ramble and I forgot my original point. Something about being shy...seriously though I gotta step out of the box. Fuck what someone else thinks....

*raises glass*

Cheers to all the shy niggas! We will eventually overcome that nonsense and run the world.