Sunday, February 28, 2010

Hotter than Wasabi

I've never dated/messed with/fucked a white guy.

The thought never crossed my mind...

Until earlier today..........


I was at KONA GRILL handling some bizzness with some PEOPLE. The waiter was kinda cute, but I didn't pay too much attention to him.

He gave us our checks, I gave him my credit card, and he wrote his # on the receipt.


That's EXACTLY how it happened. I didn't even know the dude got down like that. Usually our Caucasian brothers are a little more OBVIOUS with their sexuality...I guess you could call him a DL whiteboy.

Anywho, dude is kinda cute. And he looks like a big freak...a big black dick takin freak! Was that offensive? I hope not...

Saints & Sinners, pt. 3: Unholy Children

Alvin Johnson didn’t hear his cell phone ringing. All he heard was the sound of his headboard banging against the wall of his dorm room and the loud moans of his lover.

“You like this dick?”

“Yes daddy...YES!!!”

The fuck session continued for about thirty minutes before AJ climaxed and collapsed on the bed next to his lover.
“Damn...when Coach Thomas said we should bond, this isn’t what I had in mind” AJ said to his teammate/lover. Darien Thompson was the teams starting point guard, and one of the best players. He was determined to enter the NBA draft. 
“You have a powerful weapon...keep it up” Darien said as he grabbed AJ’s thick 10 inch manhood. 
AJ looked at his phone as Darien showered. He missed three calls and two text messages from his father. He wondered what was wrong...his father only sent text messages when there was an emergency. He tossed the phone on the bed and buried his head in his hands.
“What’s wrong?” Darien asked.
“Nothing...I’m fine.”
AJ didn’t want to focus on his fathers issues right now. He wanted to focus on school, basketball, and fucking as many boys as he could. AJ loved church and basketball, but he loved dick and ass even more. He’s not able to mess around at home because of his ‘churchboy’ status, so he has a little extra fun while he’s away at college. Darien is his ‘boyfriend’ but they are in an open relationship.
“You sure you ok bae?”
He wasn’t ok, but he didn’t want to talk about it.
“I’m fine D”
He kissed Darien on the lips and walked him to the door.
“See you at practice”
AJ slapped Darien on the ass as he walked out of the room. He laid down on the bed and thought about his issues. He was starting to get serious feelings for Darien, but he knew that their relationship would never be accepted. He thought about his father. He knew his father had secrets, but he was tired of being caught in the middle. His father was always calling him when he needed an alibi, and he couldn’t deal with it anymore.
His phone was his father.
He pushed the ‘IGNORE’ button and rolled over and fell asleep.
Everyone thought Keisha was a good girl. She was always home before curfew, always said ‘yes sir and no maam’, and she always gave a helping hand and a kind word to anyone that needed it. Keisha Johnson, the pastors 16 year old daughter, is the last person you would expect to see at the free clinic.
“I can’t believe this! My parents are going to kill me!” Keisha said to her best friend Shantrell as they waited for the doctor to return with her test results.
“Girl, it’s ok. They won’t find did this happen?”
“I don’t know...I’m scared. I hope this goes away!!”
Keisha was messing around with Adam, a 21 year old college student, and she caught gonorrhea. This was her second time catching the disease. She was using birth control pills, and didn’t feel that it was necessary to use protection when having sex.
“Girl you need to stop having raw sex with that boy! Aint no telling what he got!”
“But I love him!”
“And what are you gonna do if your parents find out that you’re dating a 21 year old white boy?”
“Girl I don’t know...I’m just gonna keep playing this ‘preacher girl’ act and hope that they don’t find out a damn thing!”
“You better do something! Because I can’t keep coming with you to these free clinics in the middle of nowhere!”
Keisha knew that her actions were wrong, but she couldn’t help it.
She met Adam one day after school. He was picking up his sister from cheerleading practice. They exchanged numbers, then started texting and talking on the phone every night. They went on their first date a week later, then a second date, then a third date. Then they started having sex. At first they were using protection, but he convinced her to stop using condoms.
“I can’t date a white boy...I heard they have small dicks”
“Girl that’s NOT true...Adam is packin!
She held her hands up about 9 inches apart
“Like that!?
Suddenly, the doctor rushed back into the exam room.
“Ms. Johnson, we have a problem”

Friday, February 26, 2010

Sex is the Best Medicine

I'm sick.


I have a minor FLU and I hate it...I just want this shit to go away! Luckily I have a lifetime supply of Theraflu and Nyquil and I've been ODing on it for the last few days, but nothing cures sickness like a good #tunasub. My BF disagrees with me though. Peep our convo:

HIM: (sarcastically) I guess I aint gon get none since your sick (I ALWAYS tell him that when he gets sick)

ME: ACTUALLY I don't mind fucking when I'm sick...

HIM: But I might catch WHATEVER it is that you have (hmph...he tried to DO me with that statement...don't think I didn't catch it)

ME: Not if we don't kiss!

Then he rolled his eyes and said something smart under his breath...My POINT is, there's nothing wrong with a little 'boom shackalacka' when you have a little cold. It will make you feel TEN TIMES BETTER!!! Now if only I could get my BF to see it that way......

Friday, February 19, 2010

Randoms for the Week

WARNING: This entry makes absolutely NO sense! Read at your own risk!!!

I procrastinate too damn much! Last night as I drifted off to sleep I thought of something important that NEEDED to be done. Did I get up and do it? Fuck no...I said 'I'll do it tomorrow'. And guess what!? It's TOMORROW and I forgot what the hell it was that I was supposed to do! I'm sure it has something to do with my side hustle, but I really can't remember right now. This is EXACTLY why I need to start writing shit down!


Why do Mexicans walk so damn slow???? I love mi hermanos pero it pisses me off when I'm in Wal-Mart tryna get what I need and get the hell outta there but Maria and her 13,000 children are taking up the ENTIRE aisle and walking like I aint got shit to do! I think they do it on purpose...

Speaking of Wal-Mart, them muthafuckas pissed me off! See, I REALLY need an oil change (actually I needed it 4,000 miles ago) and I went to Wal-Mart because thats the only place thats still open when I get off...I went there on Wednesday and the guy was like "I'm more than happy to do your oil change but I'm the only one here and it's gonna take about an hour and a half"


I love Mariah (my car) to death but I aint bout to wait no hour and a half for no damn oil change...I'd rather buy the oil and change it my damn self, although I'd seriously fuck some shit up if I did that.

So I went back today thinking, hmmm...maybe they will have their shit together...but I was WRONG. I sat in my car waiting on someone to come over and start the process, but they just looked at me like I was crazy. I looked at the sign to make sure they were still open...and they were. So everyone was just sitting there looking stupid, and I left. Hmph...fuck that. Wal-Mart fucks up people's cars anyway. So I guess I'll wake my ass up EARLY in the morning and go to the dealership :(

WELP I guess that's it for now...everyone have a GREAT weekend! Don't get too drunk...and PLEASE make it to someone's House of Worship on Sunday!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Eye Candy: TOP of the Minute

Wanna see his face?

What about his dick?


*devilish grin*

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

New Segment: Girl Crush

I was starting to get a little bored with the blog...that's one of the reasons I took a little mini vaca. SO I decided to add some new shit to it...

The GIRL CRUSH is a piece of fish that I'm currently 'feelin'. A chick that can GET IT! And the Fish of the Minute is LETOYA LUCKETT...I don't care what anyone says, this chick is FOINE!!!!!!! And her personality is ON POINT. (Yall know she was ALWAYS the finest member of Destiny's Chirren) 

Dallas, Texas

This weekend I made the drive to DALLAS for All-Star Weekend (the four hour trip only took two do the math). Here is a brief synopsis (look it up) of the trip.

1. Galleria Dallas is THA FOOL!!!!!!! The Galleria in Houston is waaaaaaaay better! (Although I did cop a fresh ass pair of Reeboks and a bunch of new shirts)

2. Dallas boys are THA FOOL!!!!!!!!! They aren't UGLY, but they look kinda grimey. And I SWEAR this dude in the club smelled like pure ASSFUNK. His friends shoulda told him to take a bath before he brought he funky ass out. (But the security guard at the hotel was kinda hott...)

3. There was entirely too much TRAFFIC! (Almost cussed this bitch out on the freeway...ol stank pussy ho)

4. The night scene is DIFFERENT: No guys dressed as girls...No Beyonce...No bounce music (I was kinda upset by the fact that they didn't play VIDEOPHONE...dats my shyt!

I actually enjoyed the trip, and I finally understand why folks from Dallas act the way they do. But I didn't see ANY eye candy :-(


Did you miss me? Of course you did...I know I wasn't gone THAT long...but it was long enough for me to find some shit to say. And I have a LOT to say, so buckle up and enjoy the ride ;)

Sunday, February 7, 2010


I wanted to write a blog...

But I have NOTHING to write about............


That means its time for me to take a mini vaca from the 'blogging' scene...time for me to go out and MISBEHAVE, then tell all of you about my experiences...HEHEHE

Be back soon!!!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Will Conroy

I have officially REPLACED Brandon Roy as the most fuckable NBA player...the honor now goes to Mr. Will Conroy of the HOUSTON ROCKETS.

Look at him...he looks better without a shirt

I'm definitely adding him to THE LIST :)