Thursday, August 27, 2009

Me, Myself, and I

So I took myself out on a date tonight because I am BEYOND pissed at my the point where I want to CUT his ass (I'm really not a violent person). I went to PF Changs (yum).

I enjoyed my 'me time' and I think it is important for everyone to take some time out for themselves. This month has been difficult and stressful for me and I didn't have an outlet to truly express my frustration. Getting some time to myself was the best thing that I could have done because it gave me a chance to think about who I am and where I'm going in my life. It gave me a chance to let go of the stress that I have been dealing with lately.

Everyone should take at least one day every week to reflect. Being around the same people and the same situations every day is VERY frustrating. It's nice to get away and be around yourself sometimes...unless you are boring, annoying, or psycho!

Another Preview

I don’t know what came over me that night but I went back to that site three more times. I kept having images of Clarence and Troy in my head. I thought something was wrong with me but I figured these strange urges would go away after I finally got a taste of Freedom U pussy. I met this girl named was Candace in my Algebra class. She came over one night to work on a homework assignment and I had the room to myself because Clarence was out with a chick of his own. We worked on the project for a little bit, then I put on some of my Jeremiah charm, laid her down on the bed, and went to WORK!


Maybe I'm Being Selfish (Not Really)

My parents have been married for 23 years and during that time they have moved 10 times (military). During these moves my parents coordinated everything TOGETHER. My mother didn't do anything by herself and neither did my father. Every single detail was coordinated TOGETHER.

Moving is a stressful process. You have to make sure everything gets from point A to point B in once piece. You have to pack...move...unpack. It's very tedious and time consuming. It is impossible for anyone to take on this task alone.

You would think that someone in a relationship would have all the help that they need in this situation. I have been involved for about a year without asking for anything, but I asked for this one SIMPLE favor and it seems like its a problem. I'm really not understanding why it's an issue, especially since I'm not the only one that will be living in this house.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Love and Life at Freedom University

This is a PREVIEW of my next story...enjoy!

I learned everything I need to know at FREEDOM UNIVERSITY. Four years of tough lessons taught me the essentials of life, love, and relationships. Freedom University is a beautiful historically black college located in rural Texas, right outside of HOUSTON. I came in as a freshman knowing very little about the world around me. I was sheltered from heartache and suffering my entire life, but I would be exposed to much more than I could imagine during my four years at FU.


Monday, August 24, 2009

8/25/2001...Gone but Not Forgotten

It's been eight years since the death of AALIYAH. I was only 14 when it happened but for some reason her death affected me more than anyone else (until Michael Jackson). She was so young and talented and the world lost a treasure on that day.

It is important for us to realize that tomorrow is not promised. Many people live their lives in the "slow lane" cautiously going through each day, but sometimes we have to 'throw caution to the wind' and do what feels good. Sometimes we have to say FUCK IT and live for the moment.

I'm not saying that we should completely disregard the notion of responsibility. We have to realize that as adults (young and old) we need to find a balance between work and play. Example: you can't spend ALL your rent money on clothes and shoes. At the same time, there's no point in having money in the bank if you can't spend it (but don't spend it all).

SO what's the moral of this story? Live for the moment, just don't get too caught up in it.

AND before I go, I just want to make a simple point...Aaliyah was successful at the age of 14. She didn't have to take her clothes off and dance like a stripper...she didn't talk about dick or her pussy being wet. She was actually a role model for young ladies to look up to, and I believe we have lost that in our community...COMMENTS WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. THANKS!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Confessions of a Teenage Porn Star (The Final Chapter)

What the FUCK?

I didn't know what to do. I was scared and confused. I ran away from the loft because I didn't want to be involved in this situation. I needed someone to talk to. I figured Kevin was my only option so I looked for him when I got to the set and explained what happened. He was shocked.

"Is he dead?" he asked.

"I don't know. He didn't look like he was breathing but I just left."

"Damn...this is crucial."

We decided to keep this little secret to ourselves and check out the loft again after our scenes. We made it to the loft about three hours later where we were met by Tony's wife. She was NOT happy to see us.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she asked.

"Uhhh we just came to check on Tony," Kevin said.

"Tony? FUCK Tony!" she said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I snapped. I wanted to knock the bitch out but I held my composure.

"You think I don't know about what he was doing? You think I don't know about you? I sat around all these years and watched this shit happen right in front of my face...well Tony got what he deserved!"

She shoved us out of the loft and slammed the door in our face. I understand why she was angry, but she didn't have to kill her husband. I figured I would forget about this situation and move on with my life. Kevin and I decided to move to Atlanta and start a new life together. I enrolled at Clark Atlanta University to get a degree in finance. I paid for my classes with the money that I made doing films. Kevin already had a degree in engineering and started working for a major firm. I asked him why he was doing porn if he had an education. He told me he liked the THRILL...

I thought this situation was behind me until I got a phone call about six months after moving to ATL. It was Lonnie.

"I need to tell you something," he said. He sounded very disturbed.

"How did you get my number?"

I left the world of pornography in New York and lost contact with everyone.

"That's not important...we REALLY need to talk and we can't do it over the phone. It's about Tony and you can't tell Kevin about this."

Tony...I thought he was behind me. Lonnie was in ATL and I agreed to meet with him.

"They found a video," he said.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I was confused and I really didn't feel like dealing with any bullshit.

"Tony's wife didn't kill him. They found a videotape."

"Who would be stupid enough to kill somebody on camera? Get the fuck outta here..." I was about to get up.


Lonnie told me that the videotape should a fight between two men. One of them was Tony but they couldn't tell who the other person was. They thought it was either me or Kevin. I was shocked...I didn't know what to think. It OBVIOUSLY wasn't me so it had to be Kevin. I was living with a killer. How did he get away with it? I'm sure the police would be looking for us so I had to run.

I went home to confront Kevin and try to come up with a solution to this problem but when I got home he wasn't there. I found a note:


I love you but I've been hiding a secret. I'm not who you think I am...I have done some bad things in my life and I have to make things right. I don't want you to be dragged into this. Here's a little something for you.

At that moment I knew it was true...Kevin KILLED Tony. I was in love with a killer.


Kevin is serving a life sentence for Tony's murder. Apparently Kevin was in love with Tony AND Marcus and couldn't deal with the lifestyle.

Marcus graduated from CAU with a degree in Finance. He is working on his MBA.

Tony's wife remarried a lawyer and moved to Chicago. She has two kids.

Lonnie is married and has a son.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Monday, August 17, 2009

Confessions of a Teenage Porn Star (A Rough Encounter)

I got used to the idea of being a porn star. I loved each and every scene, especially when I was working with Kevin. I didn't see much of Tony though. I only saw him on PAYDAY when he gave me my monthly check/dick. I guess he didn't want me to forget how I got started.

Kevin and I developed a special relationship. We went to the park and talked nearly every day. We went to the movies and out to dinner almost every week. I wouldn't call him my boyfriend or anything like that, but he was definitely somebody special. You could tell from our scenes that we had chemistry.

After about two months of being dicked down nearly every day I finally got to experience the pleasure of being a TOP. The boy was a cute little yellabone named Lonnie. He was about 5'8 with the cutest bubble-butt and a bangin body. I had him on his knees SCREAMIN.

I also got my first threesome...Kevin was fucking Lonnie and Lonnie was giving me head. We switched it up a few times until everyone climaxed. That was the hottest scene ever and I must have impressed Tony because he gave me something EXTRA on payday. $20,000 and twice as much dick.

At first I enjoyed the money I was getting and I didn't question where it was coming from. After awhile I started to get a little suspicious. I wanted to talk to him about it so I called him but he didn't answer. Experience told me not to stop by his loft because I might see something that I shouldn't...but I said FUCK that and went over there anyway. When I got there he was fucking KEVIN! MY Kevin! Kevin was bent over the couch taking dick like a pro. At first the sight of my first dick fucking my first love turned my on...but that lust turned into RAGE.

"What the FUCK is this?"

I must have messed up the moment because they stopped fucking and stared at me.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Tony asked.

Kevin tried to hug me but I pushed him off of me and he fell to the floor. I jumped on top of him and started punching him in the chest. Tony had to pull me off of him. I pulled myself away and ran home in tears.

About an hour later Kevin called me. I wanted to ignore his call but I answered.

"Baby I'm sorry" he said.

"What the fuck are you apologizing for? You're a porn fuck boys every day. I shouldn't be mad."

Those were my words...but I was lying. I was pissed. It was one thing for him to fuck random boys on camera but he betrayed me by fucking Tony.

"You better watch that smart ass mouth. Besides, you're fucking Tony too so you can't get mad."

"Whatever" :click:

I hung up on his ass...he wasn't about to play me. I went to sleep and woke up the next morning determined to act like nothing every happened. I was going to forget about what I saw between Kevin and Tony and give the best performance of my LIFE. I was supposed to fuck some new boy that they picked up...he was about to get the BUSINESS!

Before my scene I decided to visit Tony and tell him that I couldn't do this too much longer. I wanted to eventually make an honest living and I didn't want to be seen as a porn star for my entire life. I knocked on his door but he didn't answer. I knocked several times...but still no answer. I was kind of nervous for some reason so I kicked down the door. What I saw made me scream at the top of my lungs in horror. Tony was lying face down in a pool of his own blood.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Confessions of a Teenage Porn Star (A Secret Revealed)

I got to Tony's loft and banged on the door as hard as I possibly could. I was PISSED! How the fuck could he do this to me? I felt betrayed. My session with Kevin was being broadcast to the entire world. A woman answered the door.

"Who the fuck are you?" I asked

She asked me the same question. I looked past her into the living room.

"Where's Tony?"

"That's none of your damn business!" she replied.

I was pissed. I wanted to know who this bitch was. I was about to knock her the fuck out when Tony came out of the back room. He was angry! He had a look of rage in his eyes that I had never seen before. He excused himself from THE BITCH and we talked in the hallway.

"What the fuck are you doing here? I told you to call before you ever came over!"

"Who is that bitch? And what the fuck is this?"

I threw the DVD at him and demanded an explanation. I told him that I didn't appreciate my personal business being broadcasted to the entire world.

"OK look...I used you for a few films. You're cute and you have the look that my audience is looking for"

"A few? Look?"

I was confused. Were there more movies? What was he doing? And he still hadn't told me about the bitch in the living room. He gave me an envelope before I could say anything else. I opened it and found $10,000.

"What's this?" I asked.

He told me part of it was payment for my on-screen appearance, and the rest was hush money.

"What the fuck are you giving me hush money for?" I asked

"Because that BITCH in there is my wife and I don't want her to find out about any of this...understand?

I didn't know what to think. I wanted to fight...I punched the wall and stormed off. I didn't know what to do.


Sunday, August 9, 2009

Confessions of a Teenage Porn Star (The 1st Scene)

Tony and I began seeing each other regularly. He moved me into another loft down the block. I asked him why I couldn't stay with him and he said it was because he was in a "complicated situation". I learned later what that meant. In the meantime I didn't care about his situation. He was constantly buying me gifts, taking me out, and giving me everything that I needed and wanted. I thought I was giving him everything he wanted every time I laid down with him, but apparently he wanted more.

Whenever Tony wanted to meet up with me he would call me and tell me to come over. He told me that I shouldn't call him because he might be busy. I still didn't know much about him. Every time I questioned his background he would change the subject or seduce me. Even though I didn't know much about him I was starting to fall in love. There was something about Tony that made me tremble every time I saw him. I fell deeper every time we made eye contact. And when we FUCKED it felt like heaven. We started taking trips together. He made me forget about the fact that my mother was dead and my father was a deadbeat asshole. I felt safe with him...he made me feel like anything was possible. One day he called me and said that he needed to talk about something important. We met for dinner and he said he had a "friend" that was going through some things and he needed a place to stay. I didn't know what to say...I was PISSED. How the fuck does he expect me to share what I have with somebody else? When I confronted him about it, he told me to "Shut the Fuck Up" and we would talk about it when we got home...well to HIS home.

When we got there his friend was sitting on the couch. He was a talk, dark skinned guy named Kevin and I had to admit that he was kind of cute. VERY cute actually. Suddenly I didn't mind sharing my space with this stranger. The three of us talked it out, then Kevin and I left and went home. While we walked I noticed him staring at me. He was licking his lips and I felt him undressing me with his eyes and I was doing the same. As soon as we walked into the loft he grabbed me by the waist and started kissing me. I felt weird because Tony is the only person that I had ever done this with. I backed up and asked him to stop. He kept going...he told me that it would feel good. He said he liked me and he wanted me. It felt good so I gave in. We got to the bedroom...I started kissing his neck, then moved down to his nipples, his navel, and his manhood. He sighed and moaned. Apparently my skills were getting better. I pleasured him for several minutes before he laid me on my back. He laid on top of me and slowly put every inch of his 12 inch python inside of me. I gasped at first...I couldn't believe how thick it was. He started rocking slowly, then faster. It felt SO good...we switched positions...I was on my knees and he was behind me pounding and letting me know it was his.

We had sex twice that night and it was the hottest experience of my LIFE. Suddenly I was addicted to dick...I was fucking Kevin and Tony every other night. One day I was laying in my bed when a delivery man delivered a package. I opened it and it was a DVD with a picture of me and Kevin on the cover. I was confused. I put it in the DVD player out of curiousity and I saw me and Kevin's first night being replayed on the TV screen. I didn't know what to think...I didn't know what to do. How did my session get on camera? I was betrayed by somebody and it wasn't making sense to me. I stormed out of the loft and went to confront Tony because I KNEW that he had to be behind this.

PART 4 Coming Soon

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Sumthin for the Straight BOYZ

It has come to my attention that a lot of straight boys read my I wanted to give yall something to enjoy, courtesy of KING Magazine. Have a good weekend!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Confessions of a Teenage Porn Star (The 1st Dick)

Tony. What can I say about Tony? He picked me up at the lowest point of my life and brought me to a place that I never thought I could go. I met him at a subway station on the day I contemplated committing suicide. My mother was dead, my father didn't want me, I just got out of jail, and I had NO money. I noticed him staring at me from across the platform. I don't know why, but I walked over to him. He smiled and introduced himself.

"Hi...I'm tony"

His voice was so deep and sexy. I had never been attracted to guys, but there was just something about TONY that made me curious. Instantly I had thoughts of me and him going AT IT...But I had a girlfriend. I'm a guy, and guys like girls. Or so I thought. His deep sexy voice interrupted my thoughts.

"What's your name?"

I told him my name was Marcus and I was 19 (even though I was really 16). He gave me his card and invited me to his house. He said that he could make all of my dreams come true. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I was slightly nervous, but I knew that any situation was better than the one that I was in.

I got to his house around 9pm. He answered the door wearing nothing but a pair of black basketball shorts. He was brown skinned and 6'1 with a body that you could stare at for days. He invited me in and offered me a drink. I began to feel uncomfortable...what grown man offers a 16 year old alcohol? That's right...he thinks I'm 19. Still a minor...

I sipped the wine and we began to talk. I asked him why he invited me over and he told me he saw potential in me, but he had to test me out first. At that moment my curiosity got the best of me and I pressed my lips against his. My heart started racing as our tongues met. I felt his hands grip my body. My hands brushed against his waist and down his body and I could tell that he wanted me. He started kissing my neck and licking my nipples. I was READY.

He pulled down his shorts and I was amazed at his beautiful 10 inch manhood. He lubed up and put me on my stomach. I had never experienced so much pain in my life!! He put it in slowly...inch by inch. I gripped the bed and screamed. I couldn't take the pain. He started stroking. His movement was slow at first. I was beginning to get used to the pain and it was turning into pleasure. His strokes got faster and faster...our breathing got heavier and heavier. I started moaning. He was grunting in the background.

"You like that?"


We went at it for about 30 minutes before we both climaxed.

I wasn't sure what happened, but that was just the beginning. Tony took me on a ride that I wasn't sure I was ready for.


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Confessions of a Teenage Porn Star

DISCLAIMER: This is pure FICTION (or is it??? hehehe...)

I can't help it...I like the way it feels. I like the adrenaline rush that I get when the red light is flashing. I like the way I look on camera giving these boys the BUSINESS. What I do may not be ethical...and if these people found out how old I REALLY am they would go to jail. But I love it...something about being a 17 year old porn star is exhilarating and fulfilling.

I didn't WANT to be a porn star. I didn't wake up one day and say "I want to fuck and suck on camera for the rest of my life". But life dealt me a set of cards and I had to play with what I was given. My mother died in a car crash when I was 14. My dad remarried and the evil bitch convinced him to kick me out of the house at the age of 15. How the FUCK do you allow your 15 year old child to be homeless in NYC? It didn't make any sense to me...but I got involved with a bad crowd and started selling drugs. I made a LOT of money, but I got caught and spent a few months in jail. When I was released I met Tony and got my first taste of DICK. He saw me at the train station and gave me his card. He told me that he could make me rich and famous. I can't believe I feel for that dumb ass promise...but I called him and he invited me over to his loft in Manhattan. It was supposed to be a business meeting but it turned into something else...and it was the first step toward me becoming who I am.


Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Ultimate No-No

So what would you do if your significant other cheated on you? For most people the answer to that question is this:

"Ima CUT that bitch!!!!"


"I wish a mutha fucka would!"


"To the LEFT To the LEFT!!!"

But what if they said that they were sorry? What if they promised to never cheat again and that they would always be faithful? Would you still want to cut them? Would you still tell them to pack their shit and move to the left?

Currently I'm in a healthy and committed relationship. If my significant other were to cheat on on me, my FIRST instinct would be to get even. This is probably not the best approach. If he ever did it again then that would be the end of the relationship.

Is that fair? Everyone encounters a moment of weakness. Everyone faces temptation and has to make the decision on whether or not to be faithful. This SHOULD be an easy decision, but some people are too weak to resist.

Now unless your mate is a cold, heartless hoe that's fucking the ENTIRE state of Texas, it's ok to forgive...but NEVER forget. Back in my heyday I was carrying on two relationships with two different people at the same time. They found out about each other and I ended up picking one over the other (HUGE mistake). I did everything that I could to prove to this person that they were my one and only but that wasn't good enough. That relationship was hell for me, because I was doing everything that I could but I couldn't get through to this person. SO we broke up and now I'm VERY nonchalant when it comes to relationships. I'm not going to try to PROVE myself to you because I shouldn't have to...

So what's the moral of this story? Keep your DICK to yourself and avoid the drama.