Thursday, May 13, 2010




Those were the feelings that I felt when I woke up next to him. I loved him. He said he loved me, but I knew deep down that he didn't. He was there for the sex. He knew that he could get it from me whenever he wanted it. He had me wrapped around his finger, and it was a terrible feeling. How did it get to this point? How did I slip so far. I told myself that I would never be the victim of this type of relationship. I told myself that I was better than this, yet here I was. STUCK. I was tired of creeping in hotel rooms. I was tired of being his sideline hoe.

It didn't start out this way. He would call me EVERYDAY and we would talk about everything from sports to politics to religion. I knew he was married. I knew he had a son. But I didn't care. When we talked it was just about me and him. He told me that he loved me and I believed him. I loved him. I thought he was my soulmate, but I was wrong.

I looked at him on the bed next to me as he opened his eyes. He smiled at me, but I couldn't do anything but turn away.

"Baby what's wrong?" he asked.

"You know what's wrong with me. Don't even ask"

I wanted to punch him in his jaw for all the times that he had hurt me. For all the times he hit me. For all the times he lied to me. He rubbed my thigh and started nibbling on my ear. I tried to resist, but he knew that was my spot.

"Stop" I said

He started kissing my neck and before I knew it we were making love. I was on my hands and knees and he was behind me stroking slowly and passionately. He grabbed my waist and started moving faster and faster until we both climaxed.

He walked to the bathroom and got in the shower as I laid back in the bed. Twenty minutes later he was fully dressed. I didn't say anything to him as he left.


*Knock Knock*

I thought it was HIM. I smiled as I opened the door, but I was disappointed when SHE walked into the room. She and I had a relationship a few years ago, but things didn't work out. She knew that I was into guys and she couldn't handle it at the time. Since then our relationship has improved and we talk about everything. She could tell that something was bothering me.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it," I replied.

She leaned over and gave me a hug.

"It's gonna be ok," she said.

I knew that she still had feelings for me, and she knew that I was dealing with my situation. I looked up at her and when our eyes met it felt like we were the only two people on earth. Something came over me...I kissed her. We leaned back on the bed and started tearing each others clothes off. I was feeling vulnerable and I needed this moment. I needed to feel loved...

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  1. Hmmm...I was wondering what happened to him. I thought he just dropped off the face of the globe. Hmph.