Coming Out of My Shell

I’m shy as fuck. I know...its REALLY hard to believe that a guy like me can be so shy, but I am. I’m so shy its scary. I’ve always been this way...ever since I was a little gay boy trying to navigate my way through this big gay world. I have to be drunk to approach another dude at the club. Ok maybe not drunk...but tipsy. I don’t like rejection, so I just stay to myself. Unless I got liquor in my system...then I really don’t give a fuck. Yeah...that’s stupid. By refusing to step out of my comfort zone I’m missing out on a lotta things. I mean who knows, Bow Wow might be tryna hit me up, but I’m gonna miss out because I’m all shy and shyt. Then again, he has that “baby” (I wanna see a paternity test, remind me to call Maury) so that’s probably not gonna happen. But that’s not the point. I’m too old to be this damn shy...and I’m cute as hell with a decent lil body (I’m workin on it, even though I haven’t been to the gym in 3 weeks. Don’t judge me) so I shouldn’t have any problems. Niggas should be flocking in my direction...they should be on my dick like a fat hoe on a Whopper. On my ass like Eddie Long at a high school freshmen orientation. Ok, maybe that was a bit much. 

This is part of a deeper issue. I think many of us GAYS have self esteem issues, whether we wanna admit it or not. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m ugly by ANY means, and you wouldn’t either if you ever saw me (I promise I’m not conceited). But everyone thinks they have a flaw that stands out whenever they are in a crowd. Maybe they think they are too skinny...or too fat...or they don’t have enough booty...or whatever. We always see other men that seem to get whatever they want in this lifestlyle, and that makes us step back. Makes us feel slightly inadequate. Emphasis on the word SLIGHTLY. 

But it really shouldn’t matter. Life is about seeing what you want and going after it, no matter what it takes. Don’t worry about the consequences...just go for it. Just do it...just make it happen. And if a bitch don’t like it they can suck my dangalang. 

Ugh...I’m starting to ramble and I forgot my original point. Something about being shy...seriously though I gotta step out of the box. Fuck what someone else thinks....

*raises glass*

Cheers to all the shy niggas! We will eventually overcome that nonsense and run the world. 

Joel (Part 2)

This nigga must think I’m stupid...or blind. Or both...

I had been fuckin around with Joel for about three months, but I still had a boyfriend. I like to have my cake and eat it too. Besides, my boyfriend didn’t give a fuck about me, so I did as I pleased. Fuck his feelings. Joel and I kinda had a special relationship. He even told me he loved me a few times. I didn’t believe that shit though. Niggas lie.

I ignored the used condom on his windowsill. And I ignored the bottle of lube that kept getting lower and lower (I always brought my own lube to his crib). I knew he was fucking around with other dudes, but I didn’t care. After all, we weren’t OFFICIALLY together. I was just tagging that ass whenever I had a free moment. 

He didn’t have to lie about it though.

“Who you fuckin?” I asked one night after I finished pounding his ass into the wall

“Nobody bae...just you”

I gave him my ‘Nigga you lying...you full of shit’ look.

Then he said: “Really bae. You know I love you”

I raised my eyebrow

“Nigga really?”

“Really. You my heart”

I started to give him the ‘bitch-boo-bye’ routine and go home. We already fucked (twice) so why was I still there? I mean, his ass was good but it wasn’t THAT damn good. It was good enough to pay his (Cricket) cell phone bill, but not his car note. Or his insurance for that matter. I decided to take a deep breath and not press the issue. Fuck him...he wasn’t worth me getting my pressure all up. You know high blood pressure runs rampant among black folk, and I’m much too young to be sitting in somebody’s hospital bed with tubes and IVs and shit running through my body. Too cute for that...

So I grabbed his laptop, intending to kill some time before going home. He got mad.

“What you doin?” he asked, with a little attitude.

I started to pop his ass, but I realized that it wasn’t my house, nor was it my computer, so I really had NO room to get upset and beat his ass.

“Jus checkin my Facebook. Is that cool with you?”

“Hell naw”

He reached over and tried to take the computer away from me but I pulled it out of his reach.

“You hiding something?”

He got mad and walked into the bathroom. I turned on the laptop and BAM. His BGC page was right there in front of me. He had 20 messages. Not only was he a hoe, but he was a dumb hoe. A smart hoe woulda had that computer LOCKED. I sat there and tried to figure out how to play this situation. I had three options:

Option 1: Play it cool. I already fucked him several times over the last few months and he was calling/texting me multiple times each day begging for the dick.

Option 2: Beat his ass for trying to play me like an X-Box

Option 3: Invite one of his BGC buddies over for a lil wham bam

I decided to pick option 3. I replied to a message from PAPITHUG347 (lame cliche ass name). We did the usual back and forth shit until we finally got to the nitty gritty. PAPI agreed to come over in an hour. Joel came out of the bathroom as I was putting his laptop away.

“Damn...what took you so long?”

“I was getting ready for YOU”

“Nigga please...”

45 minutes later I started getting nervous. What if dude didn’t show up? Or what if he texted Joel? I didn’t even know what I was gonna do when the dude got there. 3 Some? Fight? I would figure it out when the time came. A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts.

“You expectin company?” I asked with a slick grin on my face

He rolled his eyes and answered the door. His jaw damn near hit the floor when he saw PAPI. I couldn’t help but laugh...the shit was funny. He quickly shut the door in his face and ran back to me.

“You ight?” I asked.

“Yea...I’m good”

He was  nervous as hell so I decided to answer the door and let the man in, because its hella rude to leave people standing at your front door. PAPI was actually sexier in person. He was 6’1 with a bangin body, nice ass, and all the shit that gays go for. I explained the situation to him. Turns out Joel was feeding PAPI the same ‘I love you I can’t wait to be with you’ shit he was giving me. Our first instinct was to beat his ass, but we decided to be a little more civil about the situation, so we left and went back to his place and had our own little revenge fuck session. Niggas aint nothin but hoes...

The Real World DC

So this is definitely my favorite season of The Real World EVER! (Well except for Vegas and Chicago)

Why?

Because of him:

White fish is kinda cute too (the one with the yellow arrow...she can get it)

So can he:

I'll admit TY (the black guy) isn't that cute, but his body is BANGIN and there's somethin about the way he carries himself...yah mean????