Can BOYZ like Beyonce?

This is for the bottoms...

Imagine this:

Ur riding in the car with the FINEST nigga you’ve ever seen...he’s built like a football player, has the swag of a champion, and has all his shit together. Car...house...wardrobe...this nigga has EVERYTHING!  He’s always at the hottest events and hangs out with the hottest people. The true definition of trade. One glance at him and you get moist. When he flashes his smile you’re ready to drop those briefs and let him break your back, doing things that would make porn stars blush.

There’s just one TINY problem: he LIVES for Beyonce. He gets DOWN whenever King Bey or Queen Britney is on the radio. He has EVERY Rihanna album ever made (From Music of the Sun to Loud). Is that a deal breaker? Don’t get it twisted...he still listens to Drake, Lil Wayne, Gucci, & TI, but THE OTHER SIDE of him likes Beyonce, Rihanna, Britney, & Kelly. Is anything wrong with that?

Can a guy be masculine and still listen to pop/R&B? Or is her forced to portray the uberhomothug and only listen to hardcore hip hop? Does it REALLY matter what kind of music he listens to if the dick is good and he’s taking care of business? I actually know a lot of dudes that would tell a nigga to either change the song or pull over and let him out. Why? 

This is why I think boys are stupid...we have an image of what a MAN is supposed to be, and if the guy we are talking to doesn’t fit that image we bounce. We have to accept people for who they are, and what they like. Personally, I don’t care what kinda music a nigga listens to (unless its COUNTRY...can’t get down with that).

I aint gon lie...I LOVE Queen Britney. Yup, I bet you didn’t know that. I go CRAZY everytime I hear Toxic but most niggas wouldn’t accept that. And if I feel that I can’t be myself around you then there’s definitely no point in us getting to know each other. We can still fuck, and possibly go out to eat every now and then, but a relationship aint gonna happen. And we aint goin to the nice restaurants either. I MITE take you to IHOP, but that’s about as good as its gonna get.

Or maybe its all in my head...maybe I subconsciously hate myself for liking Beyonce and Britney and all the rest of those girls. Nahhhh fuck that. But seriously tho, are boys allowed to like Beyonce?

Sex At a Party

They walked into the Doubletree and took the elevator to the 18th floor. There was a small group of men standing outside of room 1814, wearing wife beaters and basketball shorts and they immediately knew they were in the right place. After five minutes of waiting, a guy came out of the room, directed them inside, and handed them a plastic bag for their clothes and shoes. They stripped down to their underwear and began walking through the suite, observing the various activities before getting a drink at the bar. They sipped their cocktails and continued scanning the room for prospects. The men looked at the bed and watched an eager bottom giving head to two men. They walked to the bathroom and saw another bottom getting smashed while a crowd watched and jacked off.

He shot his best friend an evil look, wondering what he had just gotten himself into. He felt someone grab his ass. He looked back and saw that the guy wasn’t quite his type, so he kept walking around the room, looking at the boys who were all waiting. Most of them were cute, some of them were, um, not. He walked to the bar, got another drink, and they continued walking around and observing until they found a spot to sit in the corner. Trey Songz was playing in the background, and the drink was starting to take its effect. He wasn’t quite ready for action yet, but he was vibing. He locked eyes with a short, muscular yellabone across the room. He got up for another drink, then sat next to him. The cutie started rubbing his manhood and kissing his nipples. He started rubbing his thighs and grabbing his ass.

Wait

He was moving too fast. He wasn’t ready for this...he didn’t know what he was getting into, but it didn’t matter as the bottom pulled his dick out of his boxer shorts and put it in his mouth. He started slurping and bobbing his head as a crowd gathered around them. He had to put on a show. He put his hand on the bottoms head, guiding it up and down. He moaned and bit his lip as he pleasured him.

It was time for action.

He grabbed a condom, lubed up, and guided his dick into the warm, tight hole. The cringed at first, but eventually sat on the dick and rocked his hips back and forth. He started slowly, then began moving faster and faster. He laid on his back as the lite skinned bottom continued to ride.

He wanted to take control.

He flipped the bottom over on his hands and knees and started pounding from the back and slapping his ass. The room was filled with his moans and the sound of skin against skin. The audience watched as his strokes got faster and he finally climaxed.

But the bottom wasn’t done...

One of the spectators lubed up and started pounding him for another round.

It was getting wild. He sat next to his best friend, who was eyeing another bottom across the room. It went on for another hour before everyone was satisfied & went home, waiting for the next little get together.

Joel (Part 2)

This nigga must think I’m stupid...or blind. Or both...

I had been fuckin around with Joel for about three months, but I still had a boyfriend. I like to have my cake and eat it too. Besides, my boyfriend didn’t give a fuck about me, so I did as I pleased. Fuck his feelings. Joel and I kinda had a special relationship. He even told me he loved me a few times. I didn’t believe that shit though. Niggas lie.

I ignored the used condom on his windowsill. And I ignored the bottle of lube that kept getting lower and lower (I always brought my own lube to his crib). I knew he was fucking around with other dudes, but I didn’t care. After all, we weren’t OFFICIALLY together. I was just tagging that ass whenever I had a free moment. 

He didn’t have to lie about it though.

“Who you fuckin?” I asked one night after I finished pounding his ass into the wall

“Nobody bae...just you”

I gave him my ‘Nigga you lying...you full of shit’ look.

Then he said: “Really bae. You know I love you”

I raised my eyebrow

“Nigga really?”

“Really. You my heart”

I started to give him the ‘bitch-boo-bye’ routine and go home. We already fucked (twice) so why was I still there? I mean, his ass was good but it wasn’t THAT damn good. It was good enough to pay his (Cricket) cell phone bill, but not his car note. Or his insurance for that matter. I decided to take a deep breath and not press the issue. Fuck him...he wasn’t worth me getting my pressure all up. You know high blood pressure runs rampant among black folk, and I’m much too young to be sitting in somebody’s hospital bed with tubes and IVs and shit running through my body. Too cute for that...

So I grabbed his laptop, intending to kill some time before going home. He got mad.

“What you doin?” he asked, with a little attitude.

I started to pop his ass, but I realized that it wasn’t my house, nor was it my computer, so I really had NO room to get upset and beat his ass.

“Jus checkin my Facebook. Is that cool with you?”

“Hell naw”

He reached over and tried to take the computer away from me but I pulled it out of his reach.

“You hiding something?”

He got mad and walked into the bathroom. I turned on the laptop and BAM. His BGC page was right there in front of me. He had 20 messages. Not only was he a hoe, but he was a dumb hoe. A smart hoe woulda had that computer LOCKED. I sat there and tried to figure out how to play this situation. I had three options:

Option 1: Play it cool. I already fucked him several times over the last few months and he was calling/texting me multiple times each day begging for the dick.

Option 2: Beat his ass for trying to play me like an X-Box

Option 3: Invite one of his BGC buddies over for a lil wham bam

I decided to pick option 3. I replied to a message from PAPITHUG347 (lame cliche ass name). We did the usual back and forth shit until we finally got to the nitty gritty. PAPI agreed to come over in an hour. Joel came out of the bathroom as I was putting his laptop away.

“Damn...what took you so long?”

“I was getting ready for YOU”

“Nigga please...”

45 minutes later I started getting nervous. What if dude didn’t show up? Or what if he texted Joel? I didn’t even know what I was gonna do when the dude got there. 3 Some? Fight? I would figure it out when the time came. A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts.

“You expectin company?” I asked with a slick grin on my face

He rolled his eyes and answered the door. His jaw damn near hit the floor when he saw PAPI. I couldn’t help but laugh...the shit was funny. He quickly shut the door in his face and ran back to me.

“You ight?” I asked.

“Yea...I’m good”

He was  nervous as hell so I decided to answer the door and let the man in, because its hella rude to leave people standing at your front door. PAPI was actually sexier in person. He was 6’1 with a bangin body, nice ass, and all the shit that gays go for. I explained the situation to him. Turns out Joel was feeding PAPI the same ‘I love you I can’t wait to be with you’ shit he was giving me. Our first instinct was to beat his ass, but we decided to be a little more civil about the situation, so we left and went back to his place and had our own little revenge fuck session. Niggas aint nothin but hoes...

Joel (Part 1 of 2)

Depressed.

That’s how he felt as he looked out the window at the first snowfall of the season. The snow was light and free, a feeling he longed for. Lately he had been feeling lonely, and he can’t understand why. He has everything. He is one of the most successful photographers in the country, he owns condos in New York, Atlanta, and Miami, and he has enough money to buy whatever he wants. He lives a glamorous life of luxury and privilege, building an empire at the age of 25 and he spends his free time with his best friends, Chad and Marcus. Chad is a successful rapper and Marcus is a model.

His boyfriend grabbed him by the waist, interrupting his thoughts.

“I’m going to work”

“Ok”

He kissed him lightly on the lips before he grabbed his briefcase and walked out the door. He was an English professor at NYU and he was very busy with the end of the semester approaching. He was always tutoring students, or sponsoring some type of event. He was tired of eating dinner alone and falling asleep on the couch waiting for his lover to come home from work. There was no passion in their life...even the goodbye kiss felt dull and mundane.

He stared at the snowfall and looked at the beautiful city of New York in the background. It was definitely a magical place where any dream could come true. He decided to move there from his hometown of Dallas because he knew there were more opportunities for him as a photographer and he wanted to be successful.

He walked across the dark brown hardwood floors to his office. The walls were lined with pictures of the various models and celebrities he had shot over the last few years. These photos were the cause of many arguments between him and his boyfriend. His boyfriend never understood why he wanted to be a photographer, and he wasn’t very supportive. He was also jealous of many of the models and often accused him of cheating although he never touched any of his models sexually.

He sat in front of his 27inch iMac and logged into his Facebook account, greeted by 40 new messages and 67 friend requests. Usually he ignored all requests. He thought boys were stupid, and the only reason he had so many messages and requests was because of his shirtless profile picture. His body was banging and he didn’t mind showing it off to the world, since he worked so hard to achieve it. One particular request caught his attention. He was a cute Dominican named Joel Ortega. He had beautiful, exotic light brown eyes, thin lips, and a toned athletic body. He quickly accepted the friend request, then opened Photoshop to begin editing pictures from his last photo shoot. Joel sent him a message a few minutes later.

Thanks for the add sexy. I can’t wait to get to know you...

They began messaging each other back and forth, before Joel gave him his number and they began texting. Something about him made him smile, and he agreed to meet him for drinks later. Nothing wrong with a little friendship, right? They met at 4:00 at a bar down the street from his house. Joel was built like a model, 6’2 165 with a strong jawbone and his wardrobe was flawless. They were both shy at first, but they began to loosen up after the third drink. They started laughing and flirting. It was the first time he smiled in months but he didn’t want to send the wrong message. They were both in relationships and made it clear that they didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize the future with their lovers.

“So am I gonna get a kiss?”

Joel’s question caught him off guard, but he had the sweetest puppy dog look in his eyes. It was type of look that you couldn’t say no to. The type of look that meant trouble. He followed him to his apartment a few blocks from the bar. His knew he was walking down a potentially harmful path, but he didn’t care. His dick was rock hard, and the outline of Joel’s bubble cakes wasn’t helping. He just asked for a kiss...nothing wrong with a friendly kiss on the cheek, right?

They arrived at Joel’s apartment a few minutes later. He called his boyfriend to see if he was ok, but there was no answer. Typical. He got angry as he slipped his iPhone in his pocket and followed Joel to the third floor. The apartment was small, but nicely decorated and comfortable.  He sat on the couch as Joel offered him a drink. He sat next to him and they started watching TV. Temptation finally got the best of him and he reached over and kissed Joel’s soft lips. He grabbed his waist and they kissed passionately until they were out of breath. They stumbled into the bedroom, taking off their clothes piece by piece until they were naked in Joel’s bed. Joel kissed his neck, then moved his tongue across his chest and abs until he found his rock hard 10 inch manhood. He teased it for a while before swallowing the entire thing in his mouth. He slurped and slobbered, enjoying the taste of the dick like it was his last meal. He noticed a fresh box of condoms on the dresser. Against his better judgement he walked over and pulled a gold wrapped Magnum out of the box.

“Wait...we can’t do this. Its wrong” Joel said as he laid back on the bed and pulled him closer. He unwrapped the condom and slid it over his throbbing erection. Moments later he was pounding Joel’s ass into ecstasy. The sound of the headboard banging against the wall was nothing compared to the moans and screams of passion coming from Joel.

“Damn baby...work that dick...work it baby”

“You like this nigga?”

He flipped Joel on his hands and knees and gripped his slim waist as he continued grunting pounding his cakes, the sound of skin against skin filling the room.

“Damn”

After they showered he checked his phone to see if his boyfriend returned his call, or sent a text message. He had two missed calls and several text message, but none from his boyfriend. Fuck it...he was over the situation as he laid in Joel’s bed contemplating his next move.

Love & Football: Chapter 2

*DISCLAIMER* The model depicted was chosen at random and in no way reflects the views of this blog or the stories posted herein

Damn daddy...get it...get it...get it. Ahhhhhhh I’m bout to.......

BUZZ

Corey’s alarm sounded and he woke up sweating. The sweat glistened against his toned body. He lifted the red, silk sheets and sat on his full sized bed. He looked at the erection that had formed inside his tight, black American Eagle boxer briefs. He wished Demarcus was there to lay him on the bed and drive his massive, eleven inch dick into him until he couldn’t take it anymore. His phone rang and he smiled when he heard Demarcus’ deep, sexy voice in his ear.

Morning bae

Morning D. When you comin down here? I need you to lay that pipe!!!

Demarcus laughed. I’ll be in New Orleans next weekend when we play the Saints. Yall got a home game, right?

Yup

Ite...I’m gonna try to watch you play. I mean...you aint as good as me but its cool.

Didn’t I break your receiving record? Oh ok...thought so!

Whateva nigga...gimme a kiss and get ready for practice!

Meanwhile, Demarcus was engaged in an early morning practice session with the Chicago Bears.  The team just suffered its first loss of the season, and he was extra aggressive on the field. He was playing with the utmost skill and drive, showing the other players and coaches why he was one of the leading receivers in the league. 

After practice, Demarcus walked into the locker room, stripped, and hit the showers. His muscles were sore, and he needed a steaming hot shower to relax and unwind. He turned the water to its hottest level and stood under the sprayer. He bit his lip and allowed the piping hot water to massage his body. He closed his eyes and imagined his boyfriend on his knees in front of him, massaging his dick with his tongue. The laughter of Darius and the other players entering the showers interrupted his fantasy

Aye nigga...what you doin?

What it look like?

His dick went limp, and he turned off the water, dried his body, and put on his underwear .

Darius followed him from the shower to the locker room. 

We goin to a party tonight. You comin?

Yeah...I guess.

Aww whatever. You always say that...

Nah for real this time. I’m coming.

Darius was always trying to get him to hang out with him, but he always declined. There was something about Darius that he didn’t trust, although he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. He always had a sly look on his face, like he had a trick up his sleeve. Demarcus didn’t have time for drama, so he kept people like Darius as far away as possible. Right now he was missing his boyfriend, and he needed something to distract him, so he decided to take Darius up on his offer.

Later that night, he sat in his massive walk-in closet, wearing nothing but a pair of fitted red boxer briefs, trying to figure out what to wear. He had a wide assortment of shoes, shirts, and jeans to choose from and his closet was color coordinated with apparel in every color of the rainbow. He decided to keep it simple. He pulled out a pair of grey True Religion jeans, a white v-neck Polo T-Shirt, and his grey Polo sneakers. 

He sat on the bed, and thought about canceling. He really didn’t feel like being bothered with anyone tonight. He heard a knock at the door as he was picking up his cell phone to call Darius. He put on his jeans, walked out of his bedroom and through the living room and looked through the peephole. 

Open up nigga

Darius was standing outside, waiting to be let in. He was wearing a black New York Yankees hat, a white V-Neck, black jeans, and a pair of black & white Jordans.  

You early...

Nah nigga...you just late. Put on a shirt...don’t nobody wanna see that bird chest you got. 

He playfully punched him in his chest as he followed him to the living room.

Ya mama like it...he laughed. You want a drink?

Yea...fix me something strong.

Darius sat on the couch and Demarcus walked into the kitchen, took a glass out of the cabinet, dropped 4 ice cubes into it, then poured a mixture of Coca-Cola and Crown Royal. He handed Darius the drink and sat next to him. He looked at him while he sipped his drink. Darius was very handsome, and his playful personality made him even more attractive. 

Damn...this is strong!

You said that’s what you wanted! Where we goin tonight?

You’ll see...

He drank the rest of his drink as Demarcus finished getting dressed. Thirty minutes later, they were cruising the streets of Chicago in Demarcus’ black Range Rover. Darius was sitting in the passengers seat bobbing his head to the beat of Drake & Lil Wayne’s Right Above It. The night was chilly and the city was bustling with activity. 

Where we goin?

Make a left at the next light. And then a right at the stop sign.

Demarcus followed Darius’ directions and they ended up at a brownstone with several cars parked along the street. He found the first available parking space and parallel parked his massive vehicle between an BMW X5 and a Mercedes S550. 

What’s this? I thought we were going to a club.

Nahh...trust me. You gonna like this.

They got out of the car and walked up the sidewalk to the house. There was a man standing at the door, guarding the party from crashers and other uninvited guests. He was about 6’1, 280 lbs, and looked like Rick Ross.

You on the list?

Darius answered. Yeah...my name is Terrance and this is my boy D.

Demarcus gave him a puzzled look, wondering why he lied about his name. Something definitely wasn’t right, but the man checked his list and nodded for them to come inside.

Darius...what’s this? Why did you...

He didn’t let him finish..

Just chill...you’ll see.

They walked into a room filled with young, attractive men...all aged from 18-23. They were all slim built, some yellabone and some dark skinned. Demarcus locked eyes with a cutie that looked a lot like Corey. He had a sweet, innocent smile, slim waist, and a nice round set of cakes. 

D what the fuck is this? Why did you bring me here?

It’s cool Marcus...chill. A lotta guys from the team come here. We gotta do what we gotta do.

Fuck you mean? I aint down for this shit.

You aint gotta play me. I been peepin you since day one. I know you fuck around.

This wasn’t the time or the place to argue with Darius so he figured he would deal with the situation later. They walked down a narrow hallway into a large room filled with more people. There was a 50 inch television on the wall and a group of guys were watching a porno featuring a cute yella bottom getting his brains knocked out by a dark skinned tatted up dread head. They made their way to the kitchen where two shirtless bartenders were preparing drinks for the guests. Demarcus decided to relax and ordered a Bud Light Lime, while Darius ordered a Martini.

Just relax...have a little fun. 

Darius disappeared into the crowd and left him standing there alone. He decided to walk up to the cutie from earlier, who had made his way into the living room, and introduce himself. He recalled Darius giving the bouncer a fake name, so he decided to use one as well.

Sup...I’m uhh Kevin.

Nice to meet you...I’m Greg.

They shook hands and struck up a conversation. After all, there’s nothing wrong with a little innocent flirting, right?

So where u from?

New Orleans...u?

I’m from NYC. You look familiar though...

Demarcus got nervous. Did he recognize him from the football team? He couldn’t stay there any longer. He didn’t want to risk his true identity being revealed. He started looking for Darius, and found him in a corner getting head from some thirsty boy that had already sucked up half of the guests in the house.

Greg snuck up behind him.

Did I scare you? Its cool...I won’t tell anyone. I know who you REALLY are, Mr. Smith, and your secret is safe. Follow me...

Demarcus was still nervous, but he was also curious and he wanted to see what Greg had in store for him. More importantly, he wanted to know why Darius brought him there in the first place. Was it a set up? Was he being watched? Or was everything legit like he said it was? So many thoughts were running through his mind as he followed Greg down the hallway. He looked at his slim, form fitting jeans and licked his lips at the thought of how perfectly they fit his body. He moved a little closer and put his right hand on his ass as he followed him upstairs to one of the bedrooms. He sat on the bed as Greg closed the door and took off his shirt, revealing a slim & toned body with a pierced belly button, barbed wire tattoo around his waist, and a G with a Crown tattooed on the left side of his chest.

You like what you see?

He sat on his lap and started moving his tongue in circles on his neck and his ear.

Damn...

You like this Daddy?

Greg whispered in his ear as he reached for his dick. He was semi hard at this point, but his conscience was getting the best of him. He didn’t want to hurt his boyfriend, and he knew this was wrong.

I can’t do this...

You know you want it.

Greg got on his knees and reached for Demarcus’ zipper. Demarcus tried to push his hand away, but his dick was getting harder. Greg stood up and lifted the white v-neck tshirt above Demarcus’ head and tossed it to the side. Demarcus gave in to temptation, unzipped his pants and Greg went down and started teasing the head with his tongue. He moved his lips from the head to his balls, then back to the head. He bobbed his head up and down, slurping on his dick like it was a lollipop. Demarcus tried to resist at first, but eventually gave in to the warm, wet pleasure of Greg’s skilled lips. He licked his balls and stroked his dick before putting it back in his mouth and deepthroating like a true porn star. He had amazing skills, obviously from years of practice. Demarcus laid back on the bed and cradled Greg’s head with his right hand. He moaned in ecstasy as Greg continued to slurp and gag.

Damn nigga...work that shit. Suck this dick.

Demarcus closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip, enjoying the pleasure he was receiving from Greg’s gifted tongue. His left leg started shaking and he gripped the back of Greg’s head.

Ohhhh shit I’m bout to nut...

Demarcus started stroking his dick and nutted on Greg’s lips. He licked it up, savoring the sweetness.

Greg gave him a devilish grin as they cleaned up and exchanged numbers. He walked through the hallway until he found Darius talking to a group of guys outside. 

You ready?

Yea...let’s go.

Demarcus still felt something wasn’t right as they walked quietly to his Range Rover.

I Hate This Damn Place...

Houston, Texas.  I have the unfortunate pleasure of calling this mosquito infested hell pit home. I hate this place and everyone here. I tried to give it a chance...I really really did. But I can't. I came up with a list of 10 reasons:

1. Its too hot
2. Too much damn traffic
3. Everyone is racist (Whites don't like blacks, blacks don't like Latinos, Latinos don't like anybody, and EVERYBODY hates the gays)
4. Its too damn big
5. Aint shit to do here
6-10: Repeat 1-5

Hmph...I already started my countdown. I'm gettin tha fuck outta here...

Homewrecking

Sometimes I wanna cut a bitch. Really. Gays can be very messy, sloppy, disgusting, and tacky. I know that’s harsh, but the truth hurts. In the gay world, fucking someone elses man is like an Olympic sport. I think its some sort of law...you are not a true homosexual until you have slept with someones boyfriend.

Meet James

James is a 20 year old college student, currently attending the same university that I graduated from last year. We met two years ago when he was a freshman, around the same time I started dating my current BOO. He’s a cute little yellabone...about 5’9, slim toned body, cute smile, and a nice ass. Of course he tried to ride my totem pole, but I really wasn’t feeling him like that. He was a friend to me, and I wanted to keep it that way. But ol boy was persistent. He just kept trying and trying and trying until I couldn’t take it anymore. I told him to back the fuck off and leave me the hell alone.

FAST FORWARD

About a year later, we started talking again. He finally accepted the fact that I had a boyfriend and we were able to move forward with our friendship. He had a boyfriend of his own named Tony. Tony was 6’1, chocolate skinned, and had a body from heaven. Every now and then we would double date. It was good to have friends, because in the gay world friends don’t come around often. You have to watch who you trust, because you will definitely get a knife in your back if you’re not careful.

Lately I noticed that James and my boyfriend were getting a little too close. They would call and text each other throughout the day, and whenever the four of us would hang out they would sit a little too close to each other, and they would give each other looks that were...uhmmm inappropriate. 

Now I’m not a dumbass. I can always tell when something aint right, so I asked my boyfriend one simple question:

Me: Are you fuckin with James?

Boyfriend: What the fuck you mean? Why would you even ask me that dumb shit?

That was all I needed. My suspicions had been confirmed. See, if there wasn’t any truth to it then my BF woulda just answered the fucking question. But instead, he got mad, which means he was fucking James. Right behind my back. Right under my nose. Was this nigga serious? Like really???

This was a delicate situation, and had to be handled with care. I had several options. I could:

1. Slash some tires and cut some folk
2. Fuck Tony
3. Fuck my BFs best friend
4. All of the above.

I quickly ruled out option D, because having sex with two people would make me look like an extreme hoe. I also ruled out option C because my BFs best friend is a woman, and I truly wasn’t in the mood for a fish fry. So it was either option A or option B. Option A was the most attractive, but I really didn’t have the time or the energy for it. And I wasn’t about to fuck Tony...why should I bring him into the situation? Then again, he was already involved.

So there I was...back to square one. Pissed off without any options. I needed to find a clever way to get revenge. I thought about some new options as I poured myself a glass of Moscato. I asked myself what Tremayne (my alter ego...Beyonce has one, why can’t I?) would do in this situation (don’t ask me why). That wasn’t helpful. It just made me horny (again, don’t ask me why). There was a knock at the door...

I poured myself a second glass of Moscato before answering. It was James.

Me: Wow...you are bold.

James: What do you mean?

Me: Don’t act stupid. Why the fuck are you here?

James: Because we need to talk...

The EVIL in me wanted grab him by the throat and bash he head against the wall, but that wouldn’t be very nice. I invited the little bitch in and decided to listen to what he had to say. I started to offer him a drink, but since he was fucking my boyfriend he didn’t deserve my Southern hospitality. We sat on the couch as I poured myself a third glass of Moscato.

Me: The fuck we gotta talk about?

Him: I’m sorry. It was late and I was drunk. I didn’t mean to...

Me: Save that shit. I don’t wanna hear it.

I started to throw his ass out, but the Moscato was taking its effect. I started picturing James with my dick in his mouth. Then I pictured him bent over with my dick up his ass. That wouldn’t be proper revenge, but I didn’t care. I was horny and tipsy, so I made my move and fucked him all over the living room floor. My boyfriend got home just as we were finishing. Awkward, right?

Boyfriend: What the fuck is this?

Me: Payback is a bitch!

You would think that this would be a bad situation, but it wasn’t. We ended up having a threesome. Well, it wasn’t really a threesome. It was more like us running a train on the little bitch. But I STILL didn’t get the proper revenge that I needed. 

The next day, Tony came to my job to discuss the situation. I really didn’t have time for that bullshit, especially at work. I was over it, but obviously Tony wasn’t. I decided that the only way to truly get revenge was to fuck this man. So we went into the restroom and got it in. I recorded the ending on my VIDEO PHONE (*Beyonce voice*) and sent it to James and my boyfriend. I thought the image of myself ejaculating on another mans face would be a good way to get back at them and gain some closure. 

So what’s the moral of this story? There isn’t one...