#100!

This is my 100th post...I guess this is some sort of MILESTONE...

I could give a nice drunken speech like Mariah Carey (yall know that shit was funny!) but imma just keep it cute and thank all of you for reading my random thoughts and pornos...

THANK YOU!

Dumbass

So I was at work today (YAY) and my first customer was a complete IDIOT.

HONESTLY

I didn't wanna help the muthafucka to begin with...here's what happened:

Man: My phone is broken
Me: I'm sorry to hear that sir. Unfortunately this is not a repair center. May I see your device? (I had on  my best 'I'm here to help' smile)
The man hands me his phone...it's broken in half
Me: Do you have insurance?
Man: Yes
Me: OK...you will hafta pay a $50 deductible because your phone is physically damaged.
Man: This phone is a piece of shit! Why do I have to pay? I pay insurance every month!
...and then he rambled on about how he's been a dedicated customer for years and years...blah blah BLAH

UGH...this type of stuff happens every day! I shouldn't have to EXPLAIN to grown ass people that when you pay insurance you pay a monthly premium AND a one time deductible.

Don't believe me?

Wreck your car and see what happens! Hmph...I bet State Farm is gonna get their deductible from you, or you won't be gettin your shit fixed...plain and simple.

And then the muhfucka really pissed me off when he started talking to my coworker in Spanish. Hmph...he was prolly talkin shit about me but he had to pick his face up off tha flo (ghetto talk...I know) when my coworker told him the EXACT same thing (en Espanol)

HMPH

Roll Tide!

I wanna dedicate this post to AJ!!!

Texas: 21

Alabama: 37

Alabama won! See, I didn't want Texas to win this game...Why not? I'm a Texan right? (Not by choice). I don't think Texas should have been in this game...they barely barely barely BARELY beat Nebraska in the Big 12 Championship game (13-12) and they were riding on Colt McCoy's shoulders the entire season. Now don't get me wrong, Colt McCoy is a GREAT player and he's definitely headed to the NFL, but he's NOT Vince Young by ANY stretch of the imagination. (Pre NFL Vince Young...not the beyotch that threatened to commit suicide because his fans booed him).

So congrats to the CRIMSON TIDE

I wanna celebrate with him:

AND HIM:

Colorstruck

This might sound a little racist:


So I was having a conversation with my cousin about BOYS.

BASICALLY

He doesn't like dark boys...or DARKIES as he calls them. (he's dark/caramel)

I PREFER caramel skinned dudes myself...or lite brites. (i'm hi yella, and the exception to the rule)

Why do lite brites prefer to date darker people and vice versa? Does it matter? And why do we always hear the phrase 'light skinned bruthas are outta style'?

BITCH PLEASE!

Light skinned bois will ALWAYS be in style.

So I guess my point is this: think outside of the box. Its ok for my blue-black brothas to date other blue/black brothas and sisters...as long as you find that connection with the other person. There's nothin wrong with hi yella lite brites dating other hi yella lite brites. Hell my BF is lighter than me...but that's a topic for another day. Thoughts?

The Real World DC

So this is definitely my favorite season of The Real World EVER! (Well except for Vegas and Chicago)

Why?

Because of him:

White fish is kinda cute too (the one with the yellow arrow...she can get it)

So can he:

I'll admit TY (the black guy) isn't that cute, but his body is BANGIN and there's somethin about the way he carries himself...yah mean????

Saints & Sinners pt 1 (Meet the Family)

INTRO

Mount Pleasant Missionary Baptist Church was founded in 1894. It is one of the oldest and most respected churches in the small town of Rockville, North Carolina. The church has a rich history of providing food, shelter, and counseling to those that need it. Mount Pleasant was a strong player in the Civil Rights movement and organized protests, marches, and sit ins throughout North Carolina.

The church is led by Reverend Alvin Johnson, a 44 year old minister from Atlanta that was brought to the church last year after the death of the old pastor. Many members of the congregation did not feel that Rev Johnson was right for the church and left. Rev Johnson has been married to his wife, Sherita, for 24 years and they have two children: 18 year old Alvin Johnson Jr (AJ) and 16 year old Keisha. . The children were very respectable young adults and were very active in the church. Keisha was a member of the youth choir and AJ was a member of the Young Deacons Organization.

To an outsider, the Johnson’s seem like the perfect family. Of course things aren’t always as they seem. Every family has secrets, and the Johnson’s are no exception. 

REVEREND ALVIN JOHNSON

“I don’t care how you do it! Just deliver it! You’re not getting paid until I get confirmation!” the Reverend said as he hung up his cell phone and threw it on the table.

“What’s wrong, dear?” his wife asked.

“Nothing. Everything is fine.”

In reality, everything is NOT fine. Reverend Johnson has been hiding a secret from his wife for the duration of his marriage and he wasn’t sure how long he could hold out. As a man of God, he often struggled with the fact that he wasn’t being honest with his wife, or with himself for that matter. Sometimes he wondered how different his life would be if he hadn’t married his wife so early. He wondered what his life would be like if he wasn’t a preacher. He enjoyed the luxuries of his job, and the chance to interact with dozens of people on a daily basis, but he was leading a double life and he couldn’t continue the charade much longer.

SHERITA JOHNSON

“Oooh baby that’s my spot. Keep going...harder...harder...ooooohhhhh”

Sherita’s eyes rolled into the back of her head as she reached her third orgasm. The man climaxed shortly thereafter, and the couple rinsed off in the shower.

“Sherita we can’t keep doing this” the man said as he kissed her goodbye. “What if we get caught?” he asked. “There could be serious consequences for the both of us”

“I know, but I can’t help it. And you know you can’t get enough of this”

The man smiled as he walked out the door.

Sherita is a devoted wife and mother. She has a hot meal ready for her husband when he walks in the door. She communicates with her children, helps them with their homework, and shows them unconditional love and support. She appears to be a wholesome and dedicated first lady. She is heavily involved in church programs and always has a kind word for the congregation.

Unfortunately, her husband is rarely home. He’s always out of town on ‘church business’ and when he’s at home its as if he’s in another world. They have been married for awhile, but lately it seems as if their relationship is suffering. Her husband always seems to have something on his mind, but he never wants to talk. And he hasn’t been meeting her ‘sexual needs’ lately either. And as the saying goes, what one man won’t do another one will. 

ALVIN JOHNSON JR

Alvin Johnson Jr is every woman’s dream. He’s a star basketball player with college prospects, he’s about 6’1 with an athletic body and handsome face, and he has the dick from heaven. He recently graduated from Marietta High School outside of Atlanta and decided to follow his family to North Carolina and accept a full basketball scholarship to Wake Forest instead of attending Georgia Tech. 

He is heavily involved in the church. He works with the children and is a member of the Young Deacons Organization, led by Deacon William Thomas. AJ has been interested in ministry since he was young and hopes to follow in his father’s footsteps by leading his own congregation. For now, his main focus is playing basketball, working with the youth, and studying architecture at Wake Forest.

KEISHA JOHNSON

Keisha has always been a straight A student. The simple thought of making a ‘B’ in any one of her honors classes makes her sick. She is currently ranked number 2 in her high school class and is on track to graduate one year early. She is a skilled volleyball player and has scholarship offers from Penn State, Texas, and Clemson. She is a member of the choir and has a voice that would give Beyonce a run for her money. Yes, she’s THAT good. She also helps her mother maintain the home, and is involved with various church organizations. With all of her extracurricular activities it’s hard to imagine her having time to participate in any unholy activities.

In fact, her family seldom questions her whereabouts when she comes home past curfew. They just assume that she’s out with friends or participating in a school or church function.

Yes the Johnson’s are a holy family filled with deep, dark secrets that threaten to tear their world apart, along with the small town surrounding it. Mount Pleasant Missionary Baptist Church has seen its share of ups and downs, but is definitely not prepared for the Johnson family.

Hello 2010

So its a new year!

We made it through 2009...

I'm sure many of you have made countless resolutions and you will probably break them by Valentine's Day. OK maybe that wasn't nice...I have faith in you guys!

What are my resolutions?

I don't have any!

But I have a few goals for 2010 (there's a difference!)...

1. I want my body to look like this:

2. I want to get  my photography published

3. And uhh...maybe I'll become a stripper

So here's to a safe and prosperous new decade.